I vividly remember the very first book of the Bible that I read all the way through (practically in one sitting). It was the book of Job, and I was 14-years-old. I was going through a very difficult time in my life due to family circumstances out of my control. I feel God led me to that book, because He wanted to show me things really could be worse than they were, and He was right! He also wanted me to trust Him and only Him. I remember reading and being amazed at the faith Job had when all but his life was taken from him. I remember thinking I could never be that way – or maybe I could. As a teenager, I felt I could endure anything and come out unscathed. So – if Job could deal with that kind of pain, then so could I. Or so I thought. Things got worse – not better. I was miserable. However, during those darkest days, I witnessed the LIGHT of Christ in ways I had never seen up to that point. It was then I learned to trust Him.
Fast forward several years, and I was once again thrust into a terrible situation – the worst kind of rejection you can imagine. The pain was unbearable, and I did the only thing I knew to do – read the book of Job again. My old faithful friend Job showed me once again that somewhere, somehow my situation wasn’t as bad as it could be. Somebody was hurting even more than me, but that didn’t feel possible at the time. Those dark days turned into years, but once again I witnessed the LIGHT of Christ in ways I had not seen to that point. It was then I continued to trust Him.
Oswald Chambers once said, “Have we come to the place where God can withdraw His blessings and it does not affect our trust in Him?” I wish I could say that were true, but I’m still the same imperfect, miserable person that fails terribly when bad things happen to me. I want to say “take it all Lord” if it means knowing and trusting Him more, but there’s something still within me that screams, “no wait!”. Honestly, it will probably be a lifetime lesson that I will never fully learn, but I’m certainly willing to try. How about you?
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