Leah Stirewalt

Out of Deep Waters

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One Week Ago Today

May 11, 2011 by Leah Stirewalt 29 Comments

One week ago today…my world changed. Completely.

One week ago today…my heart broke completely in two.

One week ago today…I wept gutteral cries like I never knew existed within me.

One week ago today…the “worries” of my past and my future became laughable in comparison to my present pain.

One week ago today…I experienced the love of the body of Christ in its fullness.

One week ago today…I began a new season of suffering but a season more painful than any that has come prior.

One week ago today…I was abandoned…again.

One week ago today…I was betrayed…again.

One week ago today…the one who loved me most on this earth left me to be with the One Who loves me completely for all eternity.

One week ago today…my husband died and took a piece of me with him.

Leah
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Filed Under: Grief / Widowhood

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Comments

  1. Derek Slack says

    May 11, 2011 at 12:29 pm

    One week later you amaze me!

    Reply
  2. Eileen says

    May 11, 2011 at 12:30 pm

    Leah, my heart still breaks for you. I've said this before in a tweet..I know we've never met, but I AM praying for you, sweet sister. May God continue to comfort you in your loss and may you experience HIS peace beyond all understanding!

    Reply
  3. Deborah says

    May 11, 2011 at 12:36 pm

    Oh, Leah, I am so sorry. My heart breaks with you and I'll be praying for you.

    Reply
  4. Mary says

    May 11, 2011 at 12:41 pm

    You're in my thoughts…hugs and prayers for you! Mary

    Reply
  5. Anonymous says

    May 11, 2011 at 1:01 pm

    Dearest Leah ~ 10 months ago tomorrow we first met ~ two months ago I was blessed to be your chauffeur and hear you encourage many many women with your testimony on the power of His resurrected life in you ~ and today I am equally blessed to watch you walk with Him through the valley of the shadow of death…..step by step by step……

    Stacia Turner

    Reply
  6. Caroline says

    May 11, 2011 at 1:58 pm

    We're still praying (sincerely) over here, too… for comfort, peace, and continued reliance on Him. You're witnessing now, too, if you don't realize it (here and on Twitter). Thanking God for your heart.

    Reply
  7. Fields of gold says

    May 11, 2011 at 3:25 pm

    Wrapping my arms around you precious sister. Praying for you and your daughter, and his family. With much much love, Samantha (from P31)

    Reply
  8. Julie Gillies says

    May 11, 2011 at 4:23 pm

    My hearts weeps with you, Leah. Wrapping you in prayer.

    Reply
  9. pinkdaisyjane says

    May 11, 2011 at 4:40 pm

    Thank you for allowing us the privilege of mourning with you. You are covered in prayer daily and loved fully!

    Reply
  10. Nicki says

    May 11, 2011 at 10:38 pm

    You are a beautiful woman Leah. Praying for you to feel our God and His great big arms around you today. I can't imagine the pain you are feeling but I want you to know your not alone and there are so many people that love you. {hugs)

    Reply
  11. Jill Liverett says

    May 11, 2011 at 10:48 pm

    Leah, I think about you when I wake up and you are constantly on my mind throughout the day. I wish I could make your pain go away. You and Anna are in my prayers throughout the day. Love, Jill

    Reply
  12. Christy Bower says

    May 11, 2011 at 11:43 pm

    Leah, I love the simple, poetic way you expressed your pain. God loves you, dear one, and so do more people than you realize. When one part of the body hurts, we all hurt, so we're with you on this journey. One day at a time. *hugs*

    Reply
  13. Mining for Diamonds says

    May 12, 2011 at 12:05 am

    I am so very, very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Reply
  14. pathfromtheheadtotheheart says

    May 12, 2011 at 1:05 am

    Leah, you are in my prayers. I cannot imagine the pain you are experiencing right now. But, I wholeheartedly believe our Lord is close to the broken hearted. Praying for your strength, peace, rest, comfort, and encouragement.

    Reply
  15. Leebird says

    May 12, 2011 at 4:05 am

    Lord,

    Hold your daughter close as you share in her grief. May she experience the fullness of your presence as you carry her down this path of suffering. Such a comfort to know You never leave us, betray us, or foresake us.

    Reply
  16. Diane Yuhas says

    May 12, 2011 at 1:08 pm

    Lord Jesus, comfort my sister in Christ. Send her arms to hold her, shoulders to receive her tears, and hands to do her chores. Thank you that she knows that You are good God. Amen.

    Reply
  17. Jan says

    May 12, 2011 at 1:15 pm

    Leah, my dear Sister in Christ,
    The pain of losing a loved one is so deep, so overwhelming… I pray that, even through the pain, you and your daughter will always be aware of God's arms around you.

    Reply
  18. Debbie Dillon says

    May 12, 2011 at 1:46 pm

    Oh, my heart aches with these words. I'm praying for that peace that surpasses all understanding. God bless you, sister in Christ.

    Reply
  19. Lindylou says

    May 12, 2011 at 1:54 pm

    Leah, I am so sorry for you. Like all the others I hurt for you. I can't imagine the pain. As you need keep writing, share your heart when you can, and I will keep praying for you. We are sisters in the Lord, and times like these we need to hold each other up. May God cover you with his manifest presence and ministering angels. May you slow take the steps as He leads. God is now your husband, He will not abandon you! Even in the darkest moments – even when it doesn't feel like it – even when you don't think the sun will shine again or happiness fill your heart, God is there in the center of it all. Keep looking up to Him, calling on His name, and letting Him comfort your soul in places others can not begin to know or understand.

    Reply
  20. careyscotttalks says

    May 12, 2011 at 3:19 pm

    Oh how I appreciate your honesty in pain. Thank you for uncovering your heart and sharing your deepest fears and challenges. What I rest in knowing is that we serve a God of restoration and He deeply and fully loves you.

    Reply
  21. Mel says

    May 12, 2011 at 5:41 pm

    Praying for you and your family during this time of loss. I'm so terribly sorry 🙁

    Mel

    Reply
  22. phzlt says

    May 12, 2011 at 5:52 pm

    Continuing to pray for you and your family. Your faith and honesty are shining testaments.

    Reply
  23. Judi Cotignola says

    May 13, 2011 at 5:44 pm

    Oh, Leah. Sweet sister, although we haven't met yet, please know that I am standing with you in prayer too. Thank you for being so transparent, and for not hiding yourself away during this time of suffering–as you could understandably do. Thank you for reminding me that God's grace is made perfect in the middle of our crisis, not the absence of it.

    Sending love and prayers for you and your daughter. (My oldest is the same age….)

    Reply
  24. Deidre says

    May 13, 2011 at 8:27 pm

    I don't begin to understand – just know that I am praying for you.

    Reply
  25. Tara Sloan says

    May 16, 2011 at 3:13 pm

    We have ever met but I commit to praying for you and your daughter. How quickly my life perspectives just changed. My thoughts and prayers are with you Leah.

    Reply
  26. sundijo.com says

    May 17, 2011 at 10:26 pm

    So sorry to hear that. Thank you for your vulnerability. It inspires others.

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Going Public (a Makeover Monday post) says:
    April 8, 2013 at 11:34 am

    […] So much of what I’ve shared here in recent years has been related to my journey into widowhood and back out of it, as a result of my previous husband’s suicidal death. That season of my […]

    Reply
  2. I Can’t Forget says:
    May 3, 2013 at 6:03 am

    […] filled this blog with posts during that grief process (you can actually click HERE for the very first post following his death). I thought I’d never get over the shock of […]

    Reply
  3. Tornadoes…a Different Kind of Warning says:
    May 1, 2014 at 6:20 am

    […] different warning. A warning and sometimes gut-wrenching reminder that another anniversary of Chris’ death is […]

    Reply

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Meet Leah

Leah StirewaltI became "twice widowed" when my beloved prince, Joel, went to his Heavenly home after a brief and sudden illness on February 12, 2017. I’m in a place of shock and devastation, but I intend to use this format to journal my second widow journey, much like I did my first. It’s my open journal, my electronic oasis, and it’s often the place I find true healing as I allow myself to “come clean” with my feelings. Read More...

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