I Smile

Hi there! If you stopped by after reading my guest post over at The Scenic Route, welcome! I’m so thankful you stopped by my little “electronic oasis” today.

As I near the anniversary of my husband’s suicide – just fifteen days away, I smile. Yes – you read that correctly…I smile.

No, I don’t smile at the memories of that horrific two days last year.

I don’t smile at the guttural cries I’ve shed over and over since learning of his shocking death.

I don’t smile at the number of lonely days I’ve experienced since he went Home to Jesus.

I don’t smile at the term “young widow”. I never dreamed that I’d join that “club” of women at the age of 39.

I don’t smile at the heartache my daughter experienced over losing her game-playing, fun-loving step-father.

I don’t smile at how life seemingly fell apart in an instant.

So…why DO I smile?

I smile, because God has been so faithful to heal my broken heart!

I smile, because God is using my story – the story He’s given me – to help bring comfort to other hurting women.

I smile, because God has faithfully carried me through every single day (the good, the bad, and the ugly) of this past year. He’s never left me…just as He’s promised.

I smile, because I see His fingerprints of love all over my life.

I smile, because He’s redeeming every single part of my life with a lovely new hope.

I smile, because the blessings He’s pouring out on me right now – just following the most tragic event of my life – are some of the most beautiful I’ve ever received!

I smile, because He’s God, and He loves me, and I couldn’t “do this life” apart from Him!

I thank you Father for returning the smile to my face! You are worthy of all my praise! I love you Lord!