It was our “cabin time” ritual. Each evening before tucking my little campers into their bunks, we would talk about the day, and I would ask each one, “What was your high, low, and uh-oh?” That summer after my freshman year in college, I spent 10 weeks as a camp counselor and would close each night with prayer and asking my campers to share their highs, lows, and uh-ohs with me, and I would, in turn, do the same with them.
Now – many years later – I’ve asked that same question of my daughter on occasion, when going through the events of her day with her. Sometimes, it’s hard to think of an example in one of the categories. Sometimes a day may pass without an uh-oh. But, there’s ALWAYS a “high”. There’s ALWAYS something for which to be grateful.
I found myself in a moment of ingratitude and unthankfulness recently. I’ve received countless (literally too many to count) notes, phone calls, cards, emails, comments, and words of support in response to my news of new love and engagement to Joel. However, I’ve received less than five comments of disapproval, concern, shock, or disdain. However, those are the comments that never leave my mind. It matters not the degree of love and support I’ve felt from those that know me – truly know me – my daughter, my family, my closest friends, and even Chris’ family. It should matter, and it really does. However, it seems to be the 3-4 comments I’ve received from complete strangers that do not know me at all that are choosing to rip me apart with their words. It may only be a sentence, but one sentence can be heart-shattering.
As I try to ponder my own highs, lows, and uh-ohs, I’m having to learn to focus on those “highs” – the ones I have every single day (whether or not they seem obvious). The enemy, however, wants me to dwell on the lows from well-meaning people who really do not know me, my heart, my background, or my life story other than the snippets I choose to reveal. It can be those types of comments that make me want to withdrawal from ministry all together – that make me want to stop blogging – that make me want to quit sharing from the depths of my heart – that make me want to remove myself from the life of social media and go back into my shell and “hide” where it’s safe.
HOWEVER…
What if Jesus shrunk back and hid?
What if Jesus took to heart all of the negative words spoken about Him?
What if Jesus said, “this is too hard to do”?
What if Jesus allowed people, rather than His Father, to shape His ministry?
What if Jesus said, “I quit!”?
I can’t do it friends. No matter the few painful looks and out-of-line comments, I press on. As I’ve said before and choose to say again, I live my life for an audience of One!
It’s His approval I seek.
It’s His blessing I want.
It’s His guidance I pray for daily.
It’s His love I choose to share.
It’s His plans I want for me.
And…my audience of One…has NOT given me a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). Therefore, I choose to march forward cloaked in His strength, His love, and His wisdom. And, I will acknowledge the “lows” and “uh-ohs” of each day but will focus and give thanks for the “highs”, as I continue to exalt Him!
leah, accept what God has sent you, love and hold on tight,enjoy it every day.i know its hard to hear someone say negative things,we cant please everyone.God knows your heart and so does family and friends.keep doing God’s work. dont leave a crack for the devil to creep in its only negative. love you sis
Thanks sis! Chris was always so proud to call you his sister! Love you bunches!
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You make me smile Heatherly! 🙂
Oh, honey, please tune out those few negative comments!! I am so proud of you on this journey and am blessed to see how God has blessed you! Continue to live for your audience of ONE and enjoy the journey with your precious girl and your Prince and keep working towards bringing Holly home to add simply more JOY to your family! YOU ARE LOVED!!
Sheila – Thank you for your sweet comments! You are a tremendous blessing to me! As a sister widow, I cherish you dearly!
Well said, sweet Leah, well said!
Love and a big hug to you, Sister!!
Thanks sweet Tammy! Would love to get that big hug in person! 🙂
Goodness, how truly sad that everyone who has followed this journey of yours cannot rejoice with you at this time. However, let their negativity stay with them – they are trying to pass it off to you – don’t let them.
You are a very real testimony of Jer 29:11 God has a plan for hope and a future. Keep sharing and taking the risk – so many are blessed by your words!
Linda – Thank you for your encouragement and words of wisdom sweet lady!
God has done a great work in you Leah – continue to be led and yeilding to his Spirit. You have ministered to so many.
Thank you Brenda! Continuing to seek Him at ALL times!
Leah, I have not followed your blog very long, however, I am a follower of many blogs and it hurts me to read a negative comment about something in someones life that truly God has lead you to. I have never lost a spouse, except through divorce and after being single for 20 years, God put the most wonderful Godly man in my life. Eight years ago in August I met him, got engaged on my birthday October 1, and we married Dec. 31 that some year. When you know something is right, it is just that “right”. If it had not been for following the path God lead me, and taken that chance, I would not have met the man of my dreams. I too had to block out all the negativity about what a short time we had been together (5 months), but I knew it was God’s plan. I say congratulations and as long as our Heavenly Father is in the middle of things and you follow the plan he has for you, how can you go wrong! Hugs to you! Kelly
Kelly – Thank you so much for your precious words. They were a blessing to read! God is definitely in the middle of all this. We see it every corner we turn, and His fingerprints are everywhere! God bless you!