I’m not sure I’ve ever gone a whole month without blogging. Regardless…I’m ashamed to admit I’ve just done it.
Blogging has always been a passion of mine. It allows me the place to practice something I love to do (in a non-formal way)…WRITE! It gives me a place to connect with each of you! And…it’s a way for me to simply “journal” the ups and downs of life, all in the hopes of ultimately bringing Christ glory in all that I do or say. (And…it doesn’t have to always be devotional to bring glory to His name.)
So, why so long you might be wondering?
To be completely transparent, I’ve been in a funk. There…I said it.
I’ve been struggling internally with a desire to do ANYTHING. I think I’ve been in a rut of sorts…going through the motions of life but not really living! I’ve been battling my own vicious thoughts that keep me from focusing on those things that really matter most to me. I’ve been disorganized and far busier than God EVER intended me to be. Within the last month…
1) Joel and I moved into our first home together (which required lots of painting, and aesthetic touches before the move).
2) My hubby had a pretty significant surgery the day after we moved.
3) I’ve been sick (minor stuff)…just due to an exhausted body and weakened immune system.
Those are just the highlights of the last 30 days. However, the last 3 months (in general) have felt like a series of 24-hour days on steroids with not much breathing room. And so…I shut down (temporarily). While my life might have looked beautiful to the outsider taking a surface-level peak…I was simply miserable. I was discouraged. I knew this wasn’t the life Christ called me to, because He promises ABUNDANT life (John 10:10).
Now, don’t misunderstand me here. I. Am. Blessed. I know that. I can look around at the issues other families and individuals are dealing with all over this world, and it puts my little “issues” to shame. It’s all about perspective. But, I still ache. I still hurt. I still feel REAL emotions. And, it was those crazy emotions and thoughts that kept me from living out God’s best for me.
The change in me began one day at work. A co-worker and precious friend was praying at the end of a meeting, and she uttered something that went a little like this…
God, please fill me up with Your fullness and then use me mightily out of my emptiness.
Those weren’t her words verbatim, but it’s what I took away from what she prayed. In other words…God (only God) can use me while empty, because He is the One that can fill me with more of Him.
Ephesians 1:22-23, NLT – God has put all things under the authority of Christ and has made him head over all things for the benefit of the church. And the church is his body; it is made full and complete by Christ, who fills all things everywhere with himself.
Christ’s power is made PERFECT in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). Therefore, as I step out of the funk I’ve been living in…I ask Him…
1) for a fresh in-filling of Himself
2) for his power to be perfected in me during my weakness
Thank you Jesus for your willingness to meet me right where I’m at!
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