Leah Stirewalt

Out of Deep Waters

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Center of My Joy (a Freedom Friday post)

May 10, 2013 by Leah Stirewalt Leave a Comment

I love music…lots of genres of music! While I mostly listen to Christian music, I’ve been known to belt out a country hit, a classic rock tune, and even hum along to some sanguine jazzy mixes. But, nothing (to borrow the phrase from my friend, Carol) cranks my tractor more than making a joyful noise along with some of my favorite praise and worship melodies. My iPod is full of them, and they are my go-to songs of choice most days (but…I will say TobyMac is my artist of choice when I’m in the gym…gotta have a little beat).

Last night, on my way home from the gym actually, I was in the car by myself (a perfect opportunity to practice my American Idol audition…okay, just kidding). Anyway, I plugged up my iPod to my car adapter and started listening to my playlist of praise and worship tunes. I just let them play at random. One of the songs I have in my list is an older one sung by Ruben Studdard (Season 2 American Idol winner). The first time I heard this song, it stopped me in my tracks. The lyrics are so simple, but matched with the melody, it literally brought tears to my eyes.

CHORUS:
Jesus You’re the center of my joy
All that’s good and perfect
Comes from You
You’re the heart of my contentment
Hope for all I do
Jesus You’re the center of my joy

When I’ve lost my direction
You’re the compass for my way
You’re the fire and light when
Nights are long and cold
In sadness You are the laughter
That shadows all my fears
When I’m all alone
Your hand is there to hold
Oh, oh

Before I know it, there I am again…pulled over on the side of the road…listening to the lyrics with tears forming in my eyes and a smile forming on my face. That’s it friends! Joy-filled tears (not tears of sadness)! The freedom I have in Christ leads to unexplainable, indistinguishable JOY! Now, as I’ve blogged about several times before, don’t confuse happiness with joy. Happiness is based on circumstances…joy is much deeper than that. Joy in Christ can come even in the midst of…

cancer – death – bankruptcy – divorce – emotional pain – sudden disability – job loss – teenager issues – abuse

and a host of other issues. It’s true friends. I can tell you first-hand (as I’ve experienced several of the list above) – You. Can. Have. Joy. Even. Amongst. Pain and loss. But, it only comes through Christ.

For years, I called myself a Christian. I was a marginal one, at best. My walk…well, my walk was on a lonely path. One I tried to travel alone. I was self-sufficient (or so I thought). I didn’t need anyone or anything. I had it all figured out…and then…the loss and the pain arrived. I had no joy. I also wasn’t surrendered to Christ. I was a “fan” of Christ (as Kyle Idleman calls it in Not a Fan), but I was not a follower. I knew about Christ. I didn’t personally know Christ. BIG difference.

When I decided that I couldn’t do it alone anymore, that I was miserable in this journey called life – I gave Him ALL of me. That’ s not to say life has been perfect ever since – not even close. But, I’ve been able to discover joy – literally recognize it in myself over and over again, in spite of…well, in spite of me actually.

Last night when Ruben belted the words out to Center of My Joy, I couldn’t help but join him. I know that kind of joy…especially in the midst of my most painful circumstances.

 

Leah
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Filed Under: Freedom Friday

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Meet Leah

Leah StirewaltI became "twice widowed" when my beloved prince, Joel, went to his Heavenly home after a brief and sudden illness on February 12, 2017. I’m in a place of shock and devastation, but I intend to use this format to journal my second widow journey, much like I did my first. It’s my open journal, my electronic oasis, and it’s often the place I find true healing as I allow myself to “come clean” with my feelings. Read More...

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