Just last week…in the neighboring town…a 19-year-old young man lost his life following a tragic drowning. When I first heard his name, I recognized it. He was a standout athlete from a local high school and graduated just a little over a year ago. Most everyone in the community that followed high school sports knew his name.
I found myself swept up into watching the news following Tre’s drowning. His body wasn’t recovered immediately, because the location where he drowned created a difficult recovery environment…cold, murky, deep water. Local dive teams had to alternate to safely keep up with the immense effort being used to bring Tre out of the water. As I watched the video footage…read the updates…my mind went back to him.
Diving was my late husband’s passion. Chris also volunteered for his local fire department and rescue squad for approximately fourteen years. I have no doubt that if he were still here, he would have offered his assistance in helping to recover Tre.
If only…
I often get asked the question (especially since I’m remarried and appear to most to have healed from Chris’ death quite completely)…do I simply put him out of my mind? Is it easy to just forget?
As a matter of fact, this very topic came up twice in conversations just last week. Yes…I am healed. Yes…I’ve been able to proactively move forward in my life, and with a new husband. Yes…I smile a whole lot more. Yes…I’m able to counsel others going through similar circumstances. But…it’s impossible to forget. As long as I have a mind that remembers, I’ll never forget. Sometimes, I remember the great times we had together…from all the silly moments to the fun adventures to laughing hysterically. But, there are other times, I remember the worst day of my life…the day Chris’ lifeless body was recovered. Unfortunately, I can’t forget that either.
And, while I say unfortunately, I also know there is a beauty in remembering even those details. The beauty comes when I hear of someone else experiencing a tragedy of equal proportions.
When little Emilee died of rocky mountain spotted fever earlier this month…I could pray for her grieving parents, knowing a hint of their pain.
When the man jumped off the bridge to end his life earlier this year…I could pray for his loved ones left behind, understanding a fragment of their pain.
When a sweet friend lost her husband to a sudden medical problem…I could pray in the hospital with her, feeling a bit of her pain.
While the easy way out would be to simply forget, I know it’s in the remembering God is most glorified. It’s in the remembering that I can comfort those with the same comfort that I’ve also received from Him (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). It’s in the remembering that I can rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn (Romans 12:15). It’s in the remembering that I can see how very near God has been to me all the days of my life, from the tiniest of celebrations to the greatest times of pain (Hebrews 13:5).
God reached for me when I was in a pit. He rescued me from very deep waters, and He’s been restoring me ever since! And for that reason alone…I choose not to forget.
Beautiful. I feel the same way about my Dad (who also died in a drowning accident) although it is hard to ave to remember those awful 3 days where we could not find his body in the river along with the years of good memories. I have to try and replace those tough thoughts with the good ones, don’t know if that’s the right response but my heart just can’t handle reliving that time, even 5 years later.
So thankful for how God has brought you out of the valley. Your grief journey has been so inspiring and encouraging to me and I’m so thankful that you allowed God to use it to each others for Him.
Love you Sister!
Beautiful Ayla…thank you for your precious words! I’m thankful that God has used my own grief experience to bring glory to Himself! You are a treasure!!!