I know…I know…my title of this post was a bit corny (and not very creative), but just overlook my goofiness, okeedokee?
In all seriousness, I’m so thrilled to be able to share some exciting news with you about some amazing things taking place in a ministry in which I’m honored to play a small part.
In late 2011, I was humbled to be asked to join the writing team of A Widow’s Might. At that time, there was a team of only five of us (an additional gal joined our team a few months after me). By early 2013, the team began changing a bit…some ladies moved into new seasons of life and chose to step down from being regular contributors. We opened the door for guest writers to come on board, and the ministry leadership also changed hands just before this time. We could see God stirring up something new, but we just had no idea how incredible!
Fast forward to June 2014, and we are now a ministry consisting of 16 women, serving regularly (plus a handful of guest writers)! God branched out the ministry to include two arms:
A Widow’s Might – “A place where, as widowed women in different seasons of life, we can refresh and encourage each other by sharing our challenges, our tears, and our triumphs.”
aNew Season – “Everyday women redeemed by God through wisdom & faith gained along tough journeys. We share our stories to inspire you to chase LONG FORGOTTEN DREAMS!”
Both ministries are now under the umbrella of the newly created/named aNew Season Ministries.
Additionally, we hosted our first small retreat in March in coastal Virginia, which was an amazing experience for the writing/ministry team as well as the participants!
The first of four devotional books, For the Love of HER Life, was just published and released earlier this month, and we have the other three seasonal volumes in the works now!
And…if that wasn’t enough, we’re hosting our first-ever widow’s conference in Myrtle Beach, SC this November! The planning team has been very active in preparing for the arrival of those that will be joining us, and we deeply know that God is stirring the waters already to do great things in the lives of ALL ladies in attendance! We can’t wait to watch it unfold.
So, with the excitement of the new devotional book just coming out and registration opening for the conference, I’ve decided to do a little giveaway. We need your help in spreading the word about both of these new tools for widows (the book and the conference), and the giveaway is designed to help do just that. When I first began my widow journey, I wish both of these tools had been in existence.
The devotional book is simply written by widows/former widows (including yours truly) that have walked Grief Road. We’re not experts…simply sharing stories from our journey in hopes of bringing encouragement to other women traversing the same path.
The conference is designed with the intent of coming together as a community who have experienced loss and can minister to each other in ways that nobody else can. Click on this link to learn more and to see the sample schedule for the weekend! The early discount runs out soon, so don’t miss out on that little savings as well. If you aren’t a widow but know someone that could benefit from this, I would encourage you to share this with her. Perhaps, you (or a Sunday School class or another group you might be in) could gift it to her! Since it’s being held in November, it would be a great gift heading into the holiday season, one often very difficult for widows.
Now for the giveaway…I’m giving away not one but TWO of our new devotional books, For the Love of HER Life! I’ll randomly select the winning entries using Rafflecopter this weekend and announce the winners on Monday! The contest is active only today and tomorrow (Thursday, 6/12-Friday, 6/13, ET). Even if you’re not a widow, I would encourage you to enter on behalf of someone else that you could bless with this book!
To enter, simply click on the Rafflecopter form below and follow through the entry requirements. The only required entry is that you comment on this particular blog post with a response to the following: briefly share a way that others can better care for widows (this is a question for widows and non-widows alike). After doing so, you can click through the other optional entry methods to gain access to even more entries!
Thanks for helping my sisterhood of widow/former widows spread the word about all that God is doing in His ministry!
To Him be all the glory!
The best thing you can do is follow the widow’s lead. If she talks about her spouse, join in the conversation, share your favorite memory, let her talk. If she chooses not to, respect that she may not be ready yet. Feel free to say, “I miss him too.” It helps to know she isn’t the only one thinking of him.
Great wisdom Kelly! 🙂
Mention his name, so many people become uncomfortable when I mention my husband’s name. Call her on the day of the month( my husband died on the 5th) just so she wont feel alone feeling bad on that day
Maggie…so, so true about mentioning his name. That was also an issue with me. I kept telling folks, “It’s okay. Please talk about him.”
I have found that as a widow I need “family” and not more isolation. Share a part of your wild world with a widow who spends much time by herself.
So true Kathy! I know isolation can be literally be “deafening” sometimes!
How can others better care for widows? I’ll speak from experience here: Keep inviting the widow back to church often. It’s so HARD to go to church alone and much easier to just stay home. Let her know she’s missed. Another thing, even if the widow does not come to the Widow’s Banquet at church the first year, keep inviting her back year after year.
Those are great ideas Susan! It is very hard indeed to go to church alone. Thank you for your wisdom!
As a 2 year widow I find that all my old friends have drifted away. I am on my own.
Share your life, be a friend on good days kand bad. Share the love of Christ.
Jeron – Year 2 frequently seems to be even harder than year 1. I found that my friendships changed greatly from year 1 to year 2. While I still have many of the same friendships, many of them have changed. Love your wisdom!
Congratulations Leah, on being a part of such a great ministry! Blessings to you all!
Thanks sweet Cindy!
Find out what things she needs practical help with in order to care for her home, children or vehicles. Then help her with these areas by bringing her the people or resources to deal with these needs. Don’t assume she can care for these by herself or has someone to attend group events with.
Amen Carrie! That was a HUGE deal for me.
We are given a few month’s grace period and then most go on their way. Our void heals, reopens, heals, reopens. How do you start over at 56? Things are so different now. The missing of human touch and conversation can be overwhelming. Yes, I throw a pity party for one sometimes. If I really want to wallow by all means pull out the funeral video. I am thankful his illness was short-30 days and we only knew the last day it was terminal. I cannot fathom someone having no advance notice at all. But it is very hard to be the one—————left behind. 56 with a 16 year old. So many changes we/he could NEVER have expected, Virtually no aspect of my life is the same.
Debbie – So true…no aspect of life is ever the same again after losing a spouse. I remember thinking that pretty soon after learning of my husband’s suicide. I may have even uttered the very words, “Well…life has I knew it just hours before is over.” It’s definitely the hardest journey I’ve ever walked in life.
I’m a widow. The best thing you can do for me is Come Alongside — don’t try to “cure” me; I’m not sick. Don’t try to minimize my pain by saying “You’ll get over it.” Truth is, you never “get over” a loss, rather you learn to incorporate it into your life. Simply be with me. Be present in my journey. Come Alongside.
That’s right sister! You never “get over” a loss. My best friend and her husband lost their little boy (when he was 8), and that was 21 years ago. While they’ve been able to heal and progress in life…they will never, ever forget him or be without some of that pain.
Tell her that you are praying for her and then do it. Let her know in some way once in awhile that you are praying for her.
Lynne – I love that! Pray for her and then actually DO IT. How often do the words “I’m praying for you” end up being just words…never the actual action of doing it? I’m afraid far too often if truth be told.
The best ongoing thing is to ask how you might make the load lighter. For some that might be listening, for some financial advice or legal help, for some babysitting once in a while, for some helping fix things on a honey-do list, for some just being willing to talk about their spouse who is now gone. Ask, and be willing to keep asking when others forget.
Terri – I totally agree. The lightening of the load definitely could look totally different from one widow to the next. But, some of the simplest of things to someone could be very significant to a woman grieving the loss of her spouse. For me…I just needed initial help with house-cleaning, because people were in and out of my house constantly. It was just something that meant a lot to me at the time, but I couldn’t muster up enough energy to do anything about it.
I am 31/2 years into this journey, it is still so fresh ,it really us hard for people to relate to you, but it is helpful if people mention your husbands name and for them not to look at you with pity.
Kelly – Yes it is very hard for people to relate to us…even several years down the road. It’s such an awkward part of the journey – isn’t it?
There were times I could not think straight and felt overwhelmed. A dear friend helped me make a to-do list that was manageable–something I could accomplish. She helped me discern what I needed to do in the next few days. I couldn’t think any further than that.
Linda – I was the exact same way! As a matter of fact, I remember meeting with a new widow recently, and she asked me what she needed most. I told her (from my experience), in those earliest days…you need a “list maker”. 🙂
Allow a widow to grieve. Don’t rush her by telling her to “be strong”, “pull it together”, or don’t cry…he’s in a better place.” I know where he is but it hurts that he’s not here. I grieve all the things he’s misding out on. I grieve all the things I’m missing out on doing with him. I’m grieving all the things my children are missing out on doing with him. It may be 3 years but we are still dealing with losses daily because he’s not here. Grief takes time. Allow me this time to grieve.
Beautiful Deonna and so, so true! Grief DOES take time and does not follow a linear path (as many think it does). Wonderful wisdom!
It’s been almost 6 yrs and has been an up and down journey. Don’t know how people make it without Jesus to guide them and fill those gaps. Monetary problems seem to be the one thing everyone overlooks where a widow is concerned. They assume that we have been left okay if we don’t loose our home and possessions, when most of the time we are dealing with grief, being single in a couples world and making ends meet. To just know that people truly care helps you and makes it able for you to put out a helping hand to others. You know the walk and to those who expect it to pass in a couple of years is an unreal expectation. It gets easier to bear but the loss is always there in so many daily things you do.
Cheryl – You are absolutely right on the money issues. Not everyone has the same blessing as other widows to have been left with large amounts of pensions, life insurance, etc. I know many widows that struggle daily to simply keep food on the table and gas in the car. God commands the church to care for widows, but sadly, I think there’s a big gap in people knowing they need to and people knowing how to do so. We definitely have some room to educate it seems! Thank you for your honest comments.