“I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty.” (Ruth 1:21a)

Naomi uttered those words, after she made the decision to return to Judah following the death of her husband and sons. Do you know how many times I’ve read this small book and those words have never resonated with me like they did this morning? (You may remember from a previous post of mine that Ruth is my favorite Old Testament book.) I’m actually choosing to make that a prayer of mine right now.

We’re leaving for our beach vacation in two days, and I’m praying that as I leave very full (stuffed actually), that the Lord will use this vacation to empty me. I’m not just talking about those unwanted pounds (but, I’ll take that too)…I’m talking about emptying me of those things in life that are keeping me from living this life He’s given me to the absolute fullest! I’m so sick and tired of my human flesh getting in the way of victorious, Christian living. I know that I know that I know that He has huge plans for me, but before He can trust me to live out those plans, I have to completely surrender to Him. I’ve been trying (in my own strength, sadly) to do just that. But, it was in these words spoken by Naomi that I see the key missing piece…emptiness! I need to be completely empty of me…my thoughts, my desires, my dreams, my hopes, and my plans. I need to empty myself of the present daily distractions, the worries of the future, and the junk of the past. And, finally, I need to empty myself of anything and everything that keeps me focused on earthly things rather than those treasures in heaven. Once empty – I will pray for a fresh in-filling of God’s Spirit. I don’t expect this to be a one time occurrence. As a human, the sin will continue, but I pray that I will be more in tune to those slip ups and will more quickly ask to be emptied of me and refilled of Him!

As I look ahead at this week, I’m utterly overwhelmed. Sitting here on Monday, having just finished my lunch, I find that I’m simply frustrated over the lack of my ability to stay on top of the things that must happen this day (let alone the long list of items to cover the rest of the week). You see, we’re leaving for vacation Saturday morning. I have about 2 weeks of work to cover in 1 – we’re moving in less than a month, and the packing is not happening fast enough – the house needs cleaned (partly because I like to return from vacation to a clean home) – and, I have to pack for vacation and get any last minute needed items! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! OK – that feels better.

Actually, I’m seeing the problem already. I’m trying to accomplish MY agenda. Sounds reasonable right? Well, for many people it is, but for me, it’s not acceptable. I’ve committed to living each day for God. I’m here to fulfill His purpose – not mine. I’m relying on my abilities, which are very weak, to accomplish a list of items, and I haven’t even entrusted them to the Lord yet. Then, when I think of these “worries” that I’m dealing with today, I see how selfish I’m being. I’m worried about getting everything done before leaving for vacation, and yet there are so many people that won’t even get a vacation this year. I think of my friends Liz* and Dave* who have 6 children and Dave* lost his job over 4 months ago. I think of my friend Catherine* who is suffering with a broken heart over a failed marriage. I think of sweet Kate McCrae sitting in an Arizona hospital dealing with a brain tumor:
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/mcraekate. WOW – OK – I’m humbled once again. Thank you God! Even if my “worries” are very real, my perspective is just a bit dim right now. With the strength that only comes from God, I choose to redirect my plans to accommodate His purpose, knowing that as long as He remains in first place, everything that needs to happen will happen prior to Saturday!

Proverbs 19:21 “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”

*name changed to protect identity