Blog - Leah Stirewalt

I don’t think it’s a big secret that God gave Joel and I huge hearts for children in need of a home. Whether it’s for short-term placement (fostering) or a forever family (adoption), God has prepped us for this season of our life in life-altering ways.

As many of you know, we are currently in the process of adopting a sibling group from a country in Eastern Europe. We are definitely moving through the process, but it’s still a long journey! Our dossier is now in-country and has been translated, and we are waiting on the stamp of approval from the Ministry of Justice’s office, and the next step is a referral (wait time is currently 6-24 months)!

I’ve spoken at length about our adoption journey, and you can certainly read even more about it here and here! But, something I haven’t spoken about much is our experience with foster parenting.

In all honesty…it’s been a little tougher to wrap our heads around. Each placement situation has been drastically different, but I can start by saying it’s been one of the toughest and yet most rewarding experiences of our lives.

To bring you up to speed, we began our fostering journey a little over a year ago when we attended an orientation session at our local county Department of Health and Human Services. The very next week, we began MAPP classes, the state required 30-hour training session. We met with other foster-parent hopefuls for three hours over the course of each of the next 10 weeks and had our minds blown both by the blessings and nightmares in the foster care world.

After completing all requirements for licensure, our paperwork was submitted to the state for approval in late April/early May, and we received our license in June!

We’ve had a couple placements come and go already…one lasted two months but needed more therapeutic care than we were trained to provide. Another lasted only four days and then went to live with a grandparent. Even after only four days, we were attached.

The little bundle of cuteness we currently have living with us has been in our home for five months. He arrived when he was 6.5 months old, and we’ll be celebrating his first birthday later this month. When we “signed up” to be foster parents, we indicated our age preference to be 3-8-years-old. Caring for an infant never even crossed our minds as something we could do. We’ve quickly discovered it isn’t something we can do – only with God’s help have we even made it this far. But, we know He called us to do this, and He’ll equip us each step of the way.

Unlike with adoption, the biggest difference with foster parenting is in the fact the children will more than likely be returning home one day. We knew that when beginning this journey, but we began it nonetheless…out of obedience to what we know God called us to do. Even so, I can’t tell you the number of times we’ve heard things like…

“I could never give up a child.”

“How are you going to be able to send him back one day?”

“This is why I could never foster…having to send the children back home one day.”

I understand those statements. Truly I do. But, I can’t help but feel like a knife is being thrust into my heart whenever one of those comments passes my ears. And…each and every single time, the knife gets lodged deeper and deeper.

The truth of the matter is this…

In my flesh, I could never give up a child either. But, these children do not belong to us. Even if they were our biological children, they still don’t belong to us. All of our children…biological, adopted, fostered…belong to God. In essence, God has “loaned” them to us to love and care for until He calls them into the next phase of His plan…marriage, career, reunification with bio parents, etc. and one day – their eternal home.

A sweet friend was the one who recently shared that she could never foster children, because she would never be able to send them back home. At first, those words hurt…as if to say, I was some kind of a monster for being able to do such a thing. Honestly, it pains me more to think that these children may have to go back into some of those environments. But, imagine if everybody felt the way my friend did. What would happen to the children that can no longer remain in their biological homes (at least, for now)? Where would these children go then? An orphanage? Or perhaps remain in those often dangerous and dire home situations a little longer while the state seeks placement? I shudder to think of the alternatives.

Foster parents are drastically needed right now. I know fostering is not for everybody, and God doesn’t call everyone to foster. But, if God has been tugging at your heart to do this, I plead with you to be obedient to that calling. No matter how hard this might be, He will equip you to fulfill His calling! And, if you know this is an area He hasn’t called you to and never will…would you commit to pray for those on the front lines…those who have opened their doors to accept these fragile and often brokenhearted children? Your prayers make more of a difference than you may ever know in this lifetime.

The end of 2014 could not have come sooner, in my opinion. The year started out full of promise and ended full of sickness. Several members of our household contracted the yet-to-be-defined “crud”, including me. As it turned out, it was actually a combination of sinus infections, bronchitis, walking pneumonia, and multiple unexplained viruses. I was sick for the better part of seven weeks!

The worst day for me within that seven week time span was Christmas Eve! After working a half-day, I finally made the decision to go to the Urgent Care. In all honesty, I thought I had full-blown pneumonia and even “warned” my husband of a possible hospital admittance before the night was over. (Thankfully, that didn’t happen.)

Before I could go to the Urgent Care, I had to stop by Walmart to pick up a last minute Christmas gift in the photo center. I fully anticipated popping in and out, because I had already received a text alert from Walmart hours before that my two prints were ready!

I had our foster baby with me, as he had been sick too. I decided not to grab a cart…it was only going to be an in-and-out kind of trip. Certainly I could hold the little guy, pay for the two pictures and head home.

Or so I thought…

Before I go any further, I need to say I’m NOT a fan of Walmart. I know there are many of you that are loyal shoppers of the big W, but I’m not one of them. I’ll do anything to prevent having to step foot in that store. Without fail, nearly every single time I’m in there…something happens…sometimes very bizarre things. Usually, however, it’s poor customer service or very rude shoppers. Regardless, I needed the pictures quickly, and there is only one photo center in town that will print on matte paper that quickly. I didn’t want glossy prints for this purpose. So, I succumbed and gave Walmart this tiny business of mine.

By the time I waited in the line at the photo center, and it was my turn to pay for my pictures, I had already been there 15 minutes…a little longer than I had planned, but oh well, it was Christmas Eve after all. I quickly gave the cashier my name, and she began the hunt for my order. Finally, she came back over to me and said that she couldn’t find them and would have to reprint them. Ugh! What choice did I have? I had to wait. She assured me it wouldn’t take long.

OVER AN HOUR LATER…YES…AN HOUR…I’m STILL standing there…sick as a dog with a sick baby in my arms! I was exasperated, fighting back tears, and simply overwhelmed.

I called my hubby to see if he was anywhere near us. He wasn’t too far away and said he’d head that way. I needed him to take the little guy home while I continued to wait on my TWO pictures.

After an hour and twenty minute wait, the clerk found the original order (still hadn’t completed the reprint by this time either). Imagine. That. I paid and headed to the front of the store to meet up with my husband, who should be coming in the door any second. While standing there, I reached him on his phone, and the tears finally gushed out. I was at the end of my rope, and unfortunately Joel got to hear what that sounded like. He told me to stay put, as he was already in the store headed to the photo center only to discover I was no longer there.

Crying into the phone, I managed to get out a few words… “I can’t stand here much longer. I have no cart. I have been holding this baby for almost an hour and a half, and I am SO sick and need to get to a doctor right away.”

As soon as the words, left my mouth, a woman walked up to me…started emptying out her cart of all its belongings and then handed it to me with these words, “You need this more than me. I’ve been in your shoes before…take the cart.”

I was stunned. Something beautifully kind was happening to me inside Walmart. God has such a sense of humor.

He also took that moment to show me a little nugget of His truth. Sometimes, the ugliest, most painful person or thing in your life…the one you want nothing to do with, the one you can certainly live without, but the one that just won’t go away is the very place or the very person through which God chooses to shine brightest.

He did for me…in Walmart.

Through Foster Parenting Eyes

I Found Beauty THERE!