Blog - Leah Stirewalt

QUICK REMINDER: Today is the last day to enter yesterday’s book giveaway. Please, please, please take a moment to read about it HERE. Even if you’ve never been affected by bipolar disorder or suicide, chances are you will encounter someone that could use this resource. Natalie’s story is heart-wrenching, yet full of God’s grace! An excellent read! Giveaway ends at 9:00 pm ET tonight!

I vividly remember conversations with my then 6-year-old daughter (that took place for many years to come) telling her that she doesn’t have to be a statistic. While the facts regarding children of divorced parents are alarming, she doesn’t have to be one of *those* numbers. I remember reading articles about the difficulties of single parenting and the effects on the children. I hated it. As a young girl, I never prayed, “Lord…please sent me my Prince Charming. Allow us to divorce. Allow me to remarry and then lose that husband to suicide.” Who would ask for something like that?

But…

I’ve also not been one to play the victim. While some of the ugly things I’ve endured in my life could have been reversed had I made better decisions, there are others that were completely out of my control. Irregardless, I’ve never been one to linger in Victim-Land. Now, I’d be remiss to say I’ve never spent anytime there. That’s simply not true. I’ve had my own share of pity parties. I’ve asked God, “Why me?” before. I’ve thought about running off to a deserted island somewhere and just “starting over” without the baggage of my past.

But…

I think there’s an element of beauty in pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps, dusting ourselves off and moving forward into the land of the living. I’ve known far too many people that have chosen to “die” in Victim-Land. While they may not die a physical death, so to speak, they are so completely stuck in placing blame on everyone around them that caused them to be in the situation they currently find themselves in. True or not…I’ve discovered, first-hand, that’s not going to help anyone heal from the pain.

Some of you might be saying, “Easy for you to say…you don’t know what’s happened to me!” That’s true. I don’t. Maybe I can relate, and maybe I can’t. But, at the same token…I can say the same thing. While I openly share many details of my life here at Out of Deep Waters, please know it’s only a fraction of it. I share the segments that I do in hopes of helping someone else. If even one other person emerges from the deep, painful waters of life victoriously healed by God’s hand…then it’s worth it.

I don’t share to get attention, pats on the back, “bless your heart” expressions of love and concern. I don’t share to draw attention to my drama or past mistakes. I don’t share due to a need of co-dependency. As a matter of fact, all of these things go against every fiber of my personality, because I’m introvert, by nature. I gain energy from being alone. I’d rather others know nothing of the hurt and betrayal of my past. But God…

God won’t let me keep quiet. Just like I told my daughter that she can choose to be a statistic or choose to rise above it over a decade ago…I say the same thing to you. Regardless of where you might be in life…in a pit, just out of one, or never even stepped into one. I can assure you that the day will come (if it hasn’t yet), and I just want to equally encourage you…you don’t have to be a statistic. You can rise above your circumstances…not in your own power, but in the power of the living Lord, Jesus Christ! Attempting anything in my own power never stuck. Only relinquishing everything to Him brought me restoration and kept me out of the “statistics”.

Be blessed!

Welcome back to week 2 of our author interview series. And…like last week, this one includes a giveaway! Stay tuned for more details at the end of the post.

Please welcome my sweet friend and fellow sojourner on the path of surviving the loss of a spouse to suicide…Natalie Flake Ford! Natalie lost her first love and husband, Michael, to suicide just over seven years ago. As Natalie shares, “Michael was my first love and there was a time when I thought I couldn’t live without him. He was a remarkable husband and a stellar dad! Unfortunately, bipolar disorder stole him from us. It is my hope and prayer that by sharing our story, others with mental illness will find the hope needed to pursue the help they need in order to live a fulfilling life. People often ask me if I had known then what I know now, would I have still married Michael. Absolutely! We have some amazing memories and a beautiful daughter, and I wouldn’t do anything to change this. Do I have regrets? You betcha! I share more about this in my book, Tears to Joy.”

Natalie is an author, a teacher, and a speaker who helps others to find hope in God’s sovereignty and in God’s Word. After Michael’s death, Natalie decided to continue her education by pursuing a PhD in Professional Counseling so that she can undergird her personal experience with the necessary tools to help others faced with difficult circumstances.

Throughout the years, Natalie’s message has inspired many to

· Dig into God’s Word for messages of hope during times of suffering

· Rest in the sovereignty of God (God sees and hears you, and He has a plan)

· Trust God even when life doesn’t make sense

· Take off the mask and risk vulnerability with someone trustworthy

Natalie has travelled all over the world telling people about Jesus, and sharing how God has turned her weeping to laughing and her mourning to dancing. Natalie leads a SOS (Survivor of Suicide) Support Group, where she seeks to use her past hurts to help others who have lost someone to suicide. And now…more about Tears to Joy!

ME: What inspired you to write Tears to Joy?

NATALIE: When I was a little girl, I always told people that I was going to write a book one day. When they would ask me what I was going to write about I’d shrug my shoulders and say, “I don’t know, but I’m gonna write a book.” Fast forward many moons later…the week after Michael died, I opened a devotional book that he had given to me and inside the front cover, he had penned these words: “I pray that one day our story will be written for the glory of God and inspiration of others.” In that moment, I knew I had to write our story.

ME: How would you summarize your book in two to three sentences?

NATALIE: Combining lessons learned from her studies and her personal experience with her husband’s bipolar suicide, the author examines mental illness and suicide from a Christian perspective, giving suggestions to friends and family for offering support. Tears to Joy is a compassionate and practical guide to finding help and hope in the turmoil associated with bipolar disorder and with suicide.

ME: Who would you say is the “target reader audience” for your book?

NATALIE: Adults whose lives have been touched by either mental illness or suicide.

ME: What was the most difficult part of writing the book?

NATALIE: There were so many heart wrenching memories that I would have preferred to stuff away, but writing this book forced me to go to those dark places. Reliving the day of his death was pretty gruesome, but probably the most difficult was writing about the day when he humiliated me at Walmart. Michael was such an incredible man, and this day was a stark reminder of how his illness had permeated his personality and caused him to behave in ways contrary to his character.

ME: What was your favorite part of writing this book or share something you learned in the process?

NATALIE: Writing this book was very therapeutic for me. In many ways, I feel like I put my heart and soul on a platter for the world to digest. I learned a lot about myself, about God’s goodness and grace and about the vast numbers of people who are hurting because of how either mental illness or suicide has touched their lives.

ME: What one thing, above all else, do you hope your readers take away from reading Tears to Joy?

NATALIE: Hope. As long as God is on the throne, we have hope.

ME: A little unrelated, tell us something fun or surprising about yourself that this blog community might not already know?

NATALIE: This year marks the seventh anniversary of Michael’s death. In the Old Testament, the seventh year was often known as the Year of Jubilee. Many indentured servants were granted their freedom in the seventh year. Many Israelites were forgiven of their debts in the Year of Jubilee, and landowners gave their land rest from farming in the seventh year. The seventh year was a time of rest, release, and celebration.

I began praying at the end of 2012, asking God to make 2013 a year of jubilee in my own life. I wanted to slow down and enjoy life in 2013 (which means letting go of my crazy schedule), and I wanted to release the past and live in the present. I am thrilled to share that I got married in April to my best friend – a true gift from God – creating a milestone of joy in my own life.

You can hear more of my story and get regular updates by visiting www.natalieflake.com. Natalie is also available for speaking opportunities. If you’d like to explore that possibility further with her, feel free to contact her directly through her website HERE.

In Tears to Joy, I also had the privilege to sharing a letter I wrote to my own late husband after his suicide. That exercise was one of the most difficult, and yet therapeutic, of my grief journey.

You can also enter to win a copy of Natalie’s book! In order to be entered to win a copy of Tears to Joy, you have up to two possible entries:

1. Comment on this post answering this question…have you ever been directly affected by suicide? Feel free to share your experience within the comment.

2. For a second entry, share about this giveaway on Facebook and/or Twitter by linking to this post and be sure to tag me in it! Then, come back here and leave a second comment saying you’ve done so. 🙂

The giveaway runs through 9:00 pm Tuesday (7/9) night. So, today and tomorrow ONLY! I’ll announce the winner on Wednesday morning!

To order Natalie’s book directly, simply click HERE! It’s an invaluable resource for those that have been affected by bipolar disorder and/or suicide!

Not a Statistic

Author Interview 2 with a Giveaway!