Devotional Archives - Leah Stirewalt

I’ve always referred to this place, my blog, as my little oasis in the desert wanderings of life. Historically, I’ve been able to come here and find refreshment as I pour out my thoughts through the keyboard of hydration. Without a doubt, after I perform a word dump (write a post), I’m renewed and ready to venture back out into the desert. I know I can always return here, to my oasis, to refresh my weary soul. That is, unless I become lost in the desert.

Lately, I’ve been a lost desert wanderer. Unlike the Israelites from thousands of years of ago, God thankfully hasn’t allowed me to wander for forty years. Although, some days feel like years. He knew this season was coming, and He allowed me to walk through it. I’m still in that season, the one that provides opportunities to question everything in my life leading up until now. The one that produces many episodes of ugly crying. The one that feels as if it’s going to be my lot for the rest of my life. The one in which I hardly recognize the woman in the mirror anymore. Due to being “lost” in this desert of life, I’ve struggled to find any oasis, especially this one. The words simply haven’t been able to come out. In part, I think that’s all been part of God’s plan all along. Allow me to elaborate.

I’ve always used this space to not only express some of the most vulnerable places of my heart for all the world to see, but I’ve also attempted to use it to encourage others, to provide hope, and to help others see they are not alone in the struggles we face this side of eternity. That said, I truly believe God didn’t allow me to write for the last nine months, because I was not in a place to provide that encouragement or hope. In truth, I was drowning in a sea of despair, and I had to find personal healing and restoration first. Am I completely healed? Am I completely restored? Yes and no. According to what I know from God’s Word, I believe I am both of those things, but I don’t always feel it. So, I’m choosing to walk in the truth of the biblical principles I cling to each day, whether I feel it or not. Thankfully, I have a lifetime of experiencing God’s amazing grace and mercy, therefore I know my feelings don’t define the facts. They are just that. Feelings.

Feelings aside, I long to express myself through words. In short, I love to write. I’ve always been a bit of a word geek. I deeply desire to return to this oasis more consistently in the coming days, weeks, and months. What will that look like? I have no idea at this point. I’m certainly not at the place I’m willing to publicly make a promise I can’t keep. However, I see the tides turning. I see God doing a new thing in me, and I deeply want to bring you along on that journey, as He allows.

I’ve been blogging for more than a decade. In regards to this particular site, this year is the 10-year anniversary of Out of Deep Waters. Many of you have been with me from the beginning, and some of you have just discovered OoDW. Without a doubt, I’m thankful for each and every individual who takes the time to read the words this ordinary gal chooses to share. It’s quite humbling actually. I’ve always had so many big dreams for this oasis, but personal choices and life (in general) have prevented most of those dreams from transpiring…at least for now. Even so, I press on. I look forward to what lies ahead. I’m so thankful to no longer be a lost desert wanderer.

Forget the former things;
    do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland. (Isaiah 43:18-19)

Seven days. One week. On this day, three years ago, my husband had one week left to live. And, we had no idea.

We were in the throes of parenting our four newly adopted children. We had just moved to a new town four months prior. We were literally still unpacking. We had new house projects still needing to be done. I was now the one commuting an hour to/from work each day (as we moved closer to my husband’s work). Life was very busy…but good.

Would we have done anything differently if we had known how drastically life was about to change in one week? Probably so. I imagine we both would have taken the week off from work to have time to simply be together. More than likely, we would have taken a small family fun trip somewhere nearby. We would have eaten whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted…not worrying about counting calories or carbs. We would have spoken kinder words, not “sweated” the small stuff, allowed the kiddos to stay up later some of those nights, and simply put…we would have attempted to cherish each other for every second of those final days.

However, we didn’t have that opportunity. Or did we?

We always have the opportunity to cherish those we love most. Why does it take a tragedy, a grim diagnosis, or a life altering event to thrust us off our tushes and on to loving more deeply and completely? No…we can’t always take off days from work and go on getaways with our family. We can’t let our children stay up late every night. But, there are things we can do that express love more completely, allowing us to live life more fully.

Study your spouse or significant other. What makes him or her tick? What makes them smile? What do they love, and what do they hate? What can you do today to express that they truly matter to you, that speaks to the fact you intimately know them (or are at least trying to know them)?
What makes your son or daughter giggle? What do they most want from you? My guess is time. They simply want you to be present with them…playing a game, working a puzzle, etc.
Send flowers to a friend…just because.
Write an actual letter or mail a card…not the electronic version.
Use words to elevate a friend or loved one, especially one for whom “words of affirmation” are their love language.
Remember their “special days”. This may not always be obvious days – like a birthday or anniversary – but, what about the day their father or mother went to Heaven (knowing they might need a little extra dose of love on those death anniversaries), what about their kiddos’ birthdays, how about the day they began a life of sobriety, or what about the day they gave their life to Christ? I know you might be thinking, “I can’t even remember my own anniversary, let alone all these other dates.” It might take a little effort, but if you truly love someone and want to express that love more tangibly, you’ll find a way. Learn the dates and record them on a calendar (paper or digital or both). That’s all it takes.
Surprise your spouse with a weekend getaway or a romantic dinner out at a favorite restaurant.
Make your child’s favorite meal…just because.
Bake Christmas cookies in the middle of the summer and share them with loved ones, neighbors, your mail carrier, etc.
Practice doing random acts of kindness. For ideas, check out this post I wrote when I did this leading up to my 40th birthday.

These are just a few ideas, and there is certainly an infinite list we can pull from, but you get the idea. If you truly cherish someone…show that now, in the land of the living…before it’s too late. You never know when you’re living your last seven days. You never know when your spouse has one week left to live. Don’t wait. Live each day and treat each person as if this might be your/their last day on this earth. Can you imagine how much more love is expressed just by simply practicing this more often?

Lost in the Desert

One Week Left to Live