Devotional Archives - Page 12 of 25

I’ve hit a point. You know the one. The place where you have an immense to-do list – can’t see a time where you’ll be “bored” anytime soon. And yet…you just can’t move forward…you’re exhausted!!! Perhaps it’s a physical exhaustion or more of a mental fatigue. Either way, without rest in the foreseeable future, you know that things are about to get ugly for you (and those around you).

That’s where I’m at.

I’m just plain tired. I’ve been going so hard for so long (no…I’m not looking for sympathy…just keeping it real) that I feel like I’ve been backed in a corner with no room to move. The calls of life have been so vocal that I’ve tried to answer. Really I have, but it’s only caused me to sink further and further into that hole of exhaustion.

Perhaps I’m just the only one. However…I think not.

It’s the simple things…

Meal planning, grocery shopping, and cooking
Cleaning house, laundry (or lack thereof)
Bill paying
Blogging
Time with husband
Time with kiddos
Time with friends
Time with Jesus
“Me” time
Physical activity
Work

Most everything on the list is reasonable and necessary. And…I’m thankful I live in a place where I’m physically capable of doing these things…I really am.

I know, first-hand, what it’s like to be in another part of the world where there are no grocery stores to shop at, and there are no bills to pay, because they don’t have anything to begin with. Their houses don’t have indoor plumbing, so toilet cleaning is not an issue. Oh. I am so blessed, and I know it! But, I still struggle…

With trying to be “perfect” at everything (hence, I waste more time)
With trying to divide me between everyone (only God can do that)
With trying to stay physically fit (and yet allowing my body to deteriorate in other areas due to not enough sleep)
With trying to be take time to rejuvenate my spirit by setting aside moments to do those things I enjoy – crafting, scrapbooking, bubble baths, reading, etc. (and then I feel guilty for taking “me” time)

Oh. What’s a girl to do? I could continue to whine. Where does that lead me?

I know the answer. I’ve known it for a long time. It’s simple really, or at least it should be. As a follower of Christ, I have the answer right in front of me. It’s a promise from God actually.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ~Matthew 11:28

The R word. Rest. Oh – how I crave it! So, why don’t I listen? Go to Him…He’ll give me rest. Sounds so simple, but why is it so hard?

I think for me, it’s a pride thing combined with a lack of trust. How’s that for a little transparency? The lack of trust comes in the fact that I’m obviously not trusting God enough to take care of my burdens; to just place them in His lap. I keep wanting to hold onto them for some reason. Could be a control thing. Could be I’m not trusting Him to actually do it. Maybe I think I’m the only one that can handle it (pride!). Even though, I KNOW that’s not true, but it’s certainly how I act most of the time.

Why?

He’s come through in every other area of my life. Every. Single. One. What makes this any different?

So, it’s time for some change. Time for me to start exercising what I know to be true about God. It’s time to lay it all before His throne, asking Him to take ownership of all of it. And…I mean all of it.

Father God, I’m asking You to order my days. Will you prioritize all of those “things” in life that I can’t seem to manage without you? Will you help me to be a better wife, mother, friend, employee, child of Yours? Will you show me what my days should look like? How can I glorify you in each day? Will you pull the weeds in my life that are choking me and allow me to walk only in the garden that You’ve planted for me…the weed-free garden? Will you help me to not get distracted by those things that you’ve never asked me to pay attention to? Will you line up the desires of my heart with Your plans for me? Lord, please help me to look more and more like You! In the precious name of my Savior, Jesus, I pray… Amen!

My girlie and me - saying "goodbye" at Training Camp. — My girlie and me – saying “goodbye” at Training Camp.

As I shared just last week, my daughter, Anna, is spending the month of July serving as a short-term missionary in Uganda, Africa. At the young age of sixteen, Anna’s chosen to “give up” a large portion of her summer to live among some of the poorest in our world to teach them about the love of Jesus.

I think it hit me Friday night as we worshiped together…Anna and her fellow missionary team members and the parents that were present. We spent some time offering up songs of praise to the God of the Universe. Afterwards, the students were asked to line up in the aisle that formed between some rows of chairs. The worship leader asked the parents to come pray over their children – a commissioning prayer, of sorts. In return, the students were asked to pray over their parents. It was then that I lost it.

I’m not sure I’ve heard a sound more beautiful than my daughter praying over my husband and me, with tears streaming down her face. It was almost as beautiful a noise as the first time I heard her cry on January 23, 1997. Tears streamed down her face then, but for entirely different reasons. As I held that little newborn baby in my arms for the first time, I knew God had great plans for her. Little did I realize that as I held my 16-year-old “baby” girl last Friday evening, I was beginning to get a glimpse of some of those plans.

I’ve had parents tell me over and over, “I don’t know how you do it. I could never let my daughter or son travel to Africa at the age of 16.” I understand what they’re saying. I really do. In my own skin, I could never let Anna go either. But… Anna doesn’t belong to me. She’s God’s child, and He’s simply blessed me immensely by “loaning” her to me for as long as He chooses. He’s given me a great responsibility in choosing me to be her mother. And, it’s something I don’t take lightly. But, I also know that apart from Him, I would not be capable of parenting the way He intends.

In my flesh, I didn’t want her to go. But, in my spirit, I couldn’t be more proud of her for going.

In my flesh, I think of all the horrible things that could happen. But, in my spirit, I’ve placed her in God’s hands to protect. He loves her more than I ever could.

In my flesh, I wanted to go with her. But, in my spirit, this is something that she needs to do without me.

In my flesh, I’m afraid she’ll come back changed. But, in my spirit, I want her to come back changed.

I’ll never forget something a former Sunday School teacher of mine shared with a group of us. During class, she posed the question, “Have you ever prayed for God to take your child?”

What was she talking about? Was she out of her mind? Why would I do such a thing?

She explained further…

“When my first son was an infant, I prayed the hardest prayer over him I could ever imagine praying. In short, I asked God to call him home right then if there was ever a chance that he would one day reject Him as Savior and Lord. I didn’t want him to live an eternity apart from God, so I asked God to call Him home before he had a chance to reject Him.”

Gulp. I remember sitting there thinking (in one thought) how harsh that sounded but (in another thought) how much that mother loved her son to actually “risk” having God take him from her so soon. But, the agony of a lifetime apart from Him was too great.

And now…my Anna is spending the rest of the month in Uganda…sharing about her Jesus with those that are willing to listen. Maybe…just maybe…there’s another mama ready to pray a similar prayer over infant, but she wouldn’t be able to unless she already first met Him. Maybe…just maybe…Anna was called to be His voice at such a time as this. Maybe…just maybe.

My heart is so full with anticipation over what God is doing through my girl. His girl. Will you please continue to pray for her? Pray that God would bless the ministry work of the team in such dramatic, miraculous ways that there’s no mistaking His calling on their lives. Pray for continued safety and good health. After a weekend training camp and two days of air travel, the team landed on Ugandan soil yesterday afternoon around 3:00 pm. The work has begun. May He receive all the glory!

Now – for Monday’s book giveaway winner: Sarah C. (6:52 pm 7/9)! Congratulations Sarah. May Natalie’s book be a blessing to you. Please email me your mailing address so that we can get the book right out to you: [email protected]. Thank you!

Exhausted

The Hardest Prayer