Leah Stirewalt

Out of Deep Waters

My Most Favorite Day

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It began like any other, but I knew in my heart this day would be different. I’d been looking forward to this day for a couple of weeks, but I was apprehensive at the same time. I feared it wouldn’t be “special enough” for her.

I was as ready as I knew to be. The plans were made, and I was prayed up. Time to wait…

I heard them when they came in the door. My friend, Jackie, and with her…our honored guest…Vickie. As I walked around the corner from my office area, I saw her for the first time. Here was the woman I had personally prayed for several times over the last year. Here was the woman who faithfully gave to our listener-supported radio station each week, with all that she had to give…postage stamps.

You see, Vickie is an inmate at a local women’s prison.

By trade, Vickie was a registered nurse for several decades at our local VA hospital. Married, with two children and six grandchildren, she probably appeared to many to be the “typical” mom/grandmom. But, Vickie had a secret – at least until she was caught. She was addicted to prescription painkillers, which through other poor choices, led her to a six year prison sentence.

So, as Vickie walked into the office the other morning, rather than seeing a convicted felon, I saw one of God’s girls…His princess…saved by grace and bathed in mercy. I saw a woman – full of joy that wept tears of gratefulness that a loving God would allow her the opportunity to visit the place she cared so deeply about. I saw a woman that laughed hard, hugged firmly, smiled authentically. I saw a woman that had so much only to lose so much due to her own poor decisions, and yet she was as full of God’s hope as anyone I’d been around in a long time.

Vickie desired to tithe, and she prayed that God would show her how she could honor Him in that way. The rules of the prison made it difficult to tithe like one normally would, but then she learned about the ability to give postage stamps. Vickie began her faithful giving – each and every week – she gave what she had. Her gift(s) caught my eye. Her faithfulness caused me to pause and write her that first note. Eventually, I sent a couple more. Our team prayed for her, when she was looking for a job, due to her work release eligibility. We rejoiced along with her when God’s blessing of a job was given to her.

As she shared her story with our team during staff devotions, I choked back tears the entire time (but a few managed to still escape the small crevices of the corners of my eyes).

I can’t adequately tell you the joy this day of ministry brought me. I learned so many lessons from this precious lady, who still has another 14 months of her sentence to serve, but will do it with absolute grace…of that, I have no doubt!

  • God allowed me to see another example of someone He rescued from deep waters. While our paths leading to the rescue may have been different, the Rescuer was the same.
  • I was reminded that God wants our best, not our leftovers. For Vickie, her best might be postage stamps right now. I know that makes God smile. 🙂
  • I realized that, apart from God’s abundant grace and mercy, I could be Vickie. So could you.
  • God reminded me how much He can bless us while serving.
  • I witnessed incredible strength in a woman still in physical, literal bondage but living in spiritual freedom.
  • And…as Vickie recounted so many things she already knew about our staff, simply by listening, I realized how eyes continue to see and ears continue to listen. Are my actions pleasing to Him?

Father, thank you for the blessing of Vickie and for the special day you gave me with her!

 

Impossible to Forget

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Image courtesy of www.flowersociety.org
Image courtesy of www.flowersociety.org

Just last week…in the neighboring town…a 19-year-old young man lost his life following a tragic drowning. When I first heard his name, I recognized it. He was a standout athlete from a local high school and graduated just a little over a year ago. Most everyone in the community that followed high school sports knew his name.

I found myself swept up into watching the news following Tre’s drowning. His body wasn’t recovered immediately, because the location where he drowned created a difficult recovery environment…cold, murky, deep water. Local dive teams had to alternate to safely keep up with the immense effort being used to bring Tre out of the water. As I watched the video footage…read the updates…my mind went back to him.

Diving was my late husband’s passion. Chris also volunteered for his local fire department and rescue squad for approximately fourteen years. I have no doubt that if he were still here, he would have offered his assistance in helping to recover Tre.

If only…

I often get asked the question (especially since I’m remarried and appear to most to have healed from Chris’ death quite completely)…do I simply put him out of my mind? Is it easy to just forget?

As a matter of fact, this very topic came up twice in conversations just last week. Yes…I am healed. Yes…I’ve been able to proactively move forward in my life, and with a new husband. Yes…I smile a whole lot more. Yes…I’m able to counsel others going through similar circumstances. But…it’s impossible to forget. As long as I have a mind that remembers, I’ll never forget. Sometimes, I remember the great times we had together…from all the silly moments to the fun adventures to laughing hysterically. But, there are other times, I remember the worst day of my life…the day Chris’ lifeless body was recovered. Unfortunately, I can’t forget that either.

And, while I say unfortunately, I also know there is a beauty in remembering even those details. The beauty comes when I hear of someone else experiencing a tragedy of equal proportions.

When little Emilee died of rocky mountain spotted fever earlier this month…I could pray for her grieving parents, knowing a hint of their pain.

When the man jumped off the bridge to end his life earlier this year…I could pray for his loved ones left behind, understanding a fragment of their pain.

When a sweet friend lost her husband to a sudden medical problem…I could pray in the hospital with her, feeling a bit of her pain.

While the easy way out would be to simply forget, I know it’s in the remembering God is most glorified. It’s in the remembering that I can comfort those with the same comfort that I’ve also received from Him (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). It’s in the remembering that I can rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn (Romans 12:15). It’s in the remembering that I can see how very near God has been to me all the days of my life, from the tiniest of celebrations to the greatest times of pain (Hebrews 13:5).

God reached for me when I was in a pit. He rescued me from very deep waters, and He’s been restoring me ever since! And for that reason alone…I choose not to forget.