Devotional Archives - Page 16 of 25

This type A gal learned very quickly when I went to Africa in June 2010 that type A people just don’t live there. Well…maybe that’s a little too all-encompassing, but let’s just say I never met any of them. I had been told over and over to be prepared to embrace “Africa time”, as it’s like no other. If someone says they’ll meet you at 8:00, it’s not unrealistic to expect them at 10:30 or 11:00. With no explanation. Seriously. The first time or two this happened to me, it was a little unnerving. However, by the end of my 10-day stay, I had gotten over myself and adjusted quite well to the hakuna matata attitude regarding time. And…I have to admit…it was a bit freeing.

Nevertheless, it’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks, as they say. Three years later, I find I still get unnerved when “my plans” don’t line up exactly as I think they should. Last week revealed that character flaw in me…yet again.

Just when things were going well…trucking along at a comfortable place…bam! A week ago Wednesday, my husband was sucker-punched with a trip to the ER resulting in admission for a very serious (and sudden) illness. I’ll never forget the doctor’s words, as he brought us the initial, acute diagnosis. While it was nothing along the lines of hearing the “C” word that many others are facing today (cancer), it was still serious enough that if untreated for much longer could have life-altering (and in some cases, life-ending) effects. Thankfully, we got him to the right place at just the right time. Five days later…he was back home, still recovering and anticipated to make a full recovery! Praise God!

After the initial anxiousness left, I found myself grappling with (if truth be told) the fact that life just took another unexpected detour. I whined to God. A lot.

Lord, why can’t I just have a season of ease? I’m not asking for much. I don’t need abundance…just ease.

Sometimes I feel so guilty in admitting that I prayed that, but it’s true, and somehow I’m just guessing that I’m not the only one that feels that way.

Then comes reality.

My reality tends to show up in a God-Leah conversation that volleys back and forth in my mind, and it goes something like this.

God: Ease. So, you want ease, daughter?

Me: Exactly! You can do anything God, so how about a little less life drama for awhile?

God: Hmmm…do you trust me?

Me: Of course, but…

God: It’s simple really. You either trust me with everything, or you don’t. Haven’t I proven my love for you and ability to care for you over and over and over?

Me: Yes, Lord.

God: So, what makes this time really different?

Me: I guess I’m just tired.

God: What do I say about that?

Me: To come to You for rest, and You will provide it.

God: And do you daughter?

Me: Not nearly enough.

God: What else makes this time really different?

Me: Well…since you know when I’m not honest…I guess I just need to be completely honest here.

God: Sounds like a good plan.

Me: I guess I see no end to the drama…no end to the crises…no end to uneasiness. I crave peace.

God: I see. Literally. Your brother of long ago, Job, had similar thoughts. I promise you Heaven, since you belong to me…with no more tears, no more pain, and no more “drama” (as you like to call it). My Peace is already at your disposal. Just ask me for it, and I give it freely. But, you have to want it. Do you prefer to settle into this misery mindset, or will you trust Me…truly trust Me? Just remember…your vantage point is narrow and a bit cloudy. You can only see a small fragment of my plans for you. But, I ask you to look at life through the vantage point of faith, and trust Me completely until that faith becomes sight.

Me: I know, Lord. I’m sorry I keep failing You.

God: That’s just it. You’re not failing Me. With each truthful admission of the things you are struggling with, you are drawing closer to Me. You know where your Strength comes from…you know where to find Hope…you know My track record has been proven over and over. I think you just need a little stroking, a little nudge, and little reminder that I’m still here and that I still care, even if my plans don’t always make sense. Daughter, I love you with an unending love. I delight in you. Trust Me with this. I have it all under control.

And, with that, I smile again. 🙂

The heart of man plans his ways, but the LORD establishes his steps. ~Proverbs 16:9, ESV

To continue the “unveiling” of some new blog themes I’m going to try for awhile (to aid in accountability with consistent posting, among other things)…welcome to Freedom Friday! I hope you were able to visit this past week for my first Makeover Monday and again on Whimsical Wednesday. Today…I return to a more life application/devotional type posting. That’s “Christianese-speak” for I’ve experienced a LOT of junk in life, and I’m still here to tell about it. Maybe you can relate?

I’ve been in prison.

Whoa…wait…don’t run away. Let me explain.

I’ve not been in the type of prison you might be picturing…the one in the movies with the “bad guys” behind heavy steel bars wearing orange jumpsuits. Although, in many respects, my prison experience might have been just as bad. No – I’m certainly not trying to diminish life behind those “real” bars. I have come to love some precious women friends that I correspond with, on occasion, who are living in very real prisons as a result of some mistakes they’ve made along life’s journey. Their prison experience is nothing to belittle. It’s hard. It’s lonely. It’s real.

But, I’ve allowed myself to be locked up…in my own self-made prison. The one I’ve crawled into with every life-altering, life-damaging, difficult situation I’ve ever endured. At times, I’ve served a longer sentence than at other times. My prison became a place of ~~refuge~~…a place of escape in all actuality. I didn’t have to face the situation that ushered me there…I just had to “do my time”. The “punishment” may have been self-imposed, at times, feeling like I deserved it. However, there were many other times where I was thrust into a prison – NOT of my own choosing – by circumstances out of my control. In either scenario…my response to the “prison-induced punishment” was my own.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve endured some pretty shocking…let’s just call it “yuck”…in my life. You know the kind…stuff you might see in a Lifetime movie or daytime soap opera but don’t personally ever have to confront in “real life”. Then again, there are many of you that have walked paths much more horrific than mine. I’ve come to realize that it doesn’t matter the level of difficulty in the grand scheme of things…what matters is our response to it and our ability to allow ourselves to be healed from the damage that resulted from it.

Let me introduce you to a couple of men that I’ve come to call “friends” although I’ve never personally met them (yet)…their names, Paul and Silas.

Paul and Silas were unfairly imprisoned…they were stripped, severely beaten and then thrown into the INNER prison with their feet fastened in stocks. But…it’s what happens next that makes me smile…that makes me want to jump up and down, wildly clapping and hollering for joy…

“About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them, and suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken. And immediately all the doors were opened, and everyone’s bonds were unfastened.” ~Acts 16:25-26, ESV

Did you notice what happened? AS they were praying and singing to God…they were set FREE! God didn’t set them free and then they chose to offer up praise to Him…it was while they were in the thick of it. I love those guys! It was their actions that I read about many years ago, coupled with the grace, love, and mercy of Jesus Christ that enabled God to set me free from several of my own prison experiences!

When my previous husband passed away…I entered another prison, of sorts. I grieved in that prison…HARD! But, at the beginning of my prison experience…within minutes of learning my husband had passed away…I CHOSE to offer up praise to God. I vividly remember sobbing and saying, “I still praise you God…I still praise you anyway.”

I had many dark, dark days…but, I still prayed…I still praised. Was it easy? Not. In. The. Least. But, I wanted to be well…and, I knew that if God could free Paul and Silas in the miraculous way that he did…He could certainly do that for me.

One day…He did! He unlocked my chains, and I began to walk in freedom. I stumbled at first…sometimes I even attempted to crawl back to prison, but I could almost hear Abba say, “No Leah. You can’t go there. I set you free, remember? Keep walking with me, and you’ll feel the effects of that freedom soon.” It took a little time, but I did just that.

I allowed God to shower me with grace and mercy.

I allowed God to heal me.

I allowed him to set me free!

Father, I lift up all my blog friends and readers to You right now. I pray and ask You to set free any of them that are still “locked up” in prisons for “time” You’ve never asked them to serve. I pray You would stir their hearts for the desire to have freedom…TRUE freedom that can only come from You. Show them how to pray again…show them how to praise again…or perhaps for the first time. Pour out Your love so deeply upon them that they can feel their chains loosening and eventually falling at their feet. Thank You, Lord, for setting us eternally free through the redemptive death of your Son, my Savior, Jesus. And…it’s in His name, I pray. Amen!

Change of Plans

Locked Up! (a Freedom Friday post)