Leah Stirewalt

Out of Deep Waters

Chivalrous Conviction

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I SO enjoyed spending 40 consecutive days here with you recently, and I hope to do something like that again in the future. As we closed out the 40-day run last Friday, I mentioned I’d be back on Tuesday to announce last week’s giveaway winner. Drum roll please…the winner is Cindy Cain! Congrats lady! I’ll be in touch about how to get the prizes to you!

knightFrom before our very first date – when we were still chatting by phone – my (now) husband informed me that he was rather “old-school” in the chivalry department. He still believed in opening doors for ladies and would continue to do so as long as I’d let him. He wasn’t kidding.

Beginning with our very first date and continuing even now, my husband never fails to open my car door (or any other door for that matter). The only time he doesn’t get to do so is when I forget to let him. I’ll get so busy in getting to the “next thing” that I’ll hop into or out of a car so fast that it leaves his head spinning. Instantly, I know the disappointment he feels when I’ve done so, because it’s written all over his face.

I certainly don’t mean to step on his toes and not let him be the man of chivalry I know him to be…I just get busy, self-focused, and forget. Sometimes, I’ll even close the door back to let him still have the opportunity to open it for me, but that only produces a little smirk on his face, because by this point…I’ve been “caught”.

The most recent time this happened, I felt a little conviction over this whole thing…not just in the fact that I need to do better about letting my husband treat me like a lady, but I also need to do better about letting my God be my number ONE.

Figuratively speaking, how often is my Savior standing there ready to “open my door” and I jump ahead of Him? I do it each time I…

  • skip my quiet time in His word and jump ahead to something “else” on my list
  • pray so quickly that I don’t even remember what I just prayed for, because my mind is wandering to the “next thing”
  • treat one of His precious children with a lack of respect, simply because I’ve been in a hurry to accomplish my plans
  • speak before I think, often leading to words that wound rather than words that heal
  • doubt His love for me
  • question His ability to take care of ALL my needs
  • allow someone or something to replace Him as first in my life

How often do I forget Him in the busy-ness of the day? Far too many times!

As my husband continues to bestow his gentlemanly gifts of chivalry to me, I will accept them graciously and allow  those moments to refine me in the area of graciously accepting all of God’s waiting gifts for me as well!

From a Baseball Beating to a Beautiful Butterfly

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yellow butterflyI set out yesterday afternoon to toss around a baseball with my husband and step-son. Sounds innocent enough right? Indeed, however I hadn’t thrown a baseball since I was in middle school (to the best of my recollection). And…I had little to no practice catching with a glove. I remember tossing around a baseball (or maybe it was a softball) with my brother and cousins when we were younger, but I honestly never remember using a glove.

Anyway…after a few lessons and warm-up tosses (both “boys” were VERY patient with me, by the way), I continued in the fun and actually got a little better with time. Almost an hour into our afternoon entertainment, the unexpected happened…a ball landed *splat* on my face – right on my left cheekbone.

It happened so fast. I had my glove up in the air to catch the ball coming my way, and the next thing I know, it was on my face. The immediate pain was so intense, and it literally took my breath away. My husband successfully calmed me down to keep me from hyperventilating. I felt like such an idiot for missing that ball and allowing my face to get beat up.

My husband suggested I take a timeout and go sit down for a little while. I eagerly agreed and went and plopped down on the curb near the park where we were playing.

Suddenly, it dawned on me…earlier yesterday morning, I overslept and missed my quiet time with the Lord. In the rush of trying to get to church on time, I completely pushed God to the back burner. After church, we got into the busy-ness of having lunch and then cleaning up from lunch. Soon followed my one and only naptime of the week. Right after that, we headed to the park.

So…I found myself sitting on the curb by a beautiful park alongside a placid river. My husband and step-son continued playing a little baseball. And…the Holy Spirit just convicted me of forgetting to spend quality with the Lord that morning.

I proceeded to thank God for allowing that baseball to smack in the face to get my attention for a little while to be able to spend time with Him. I then entered into a time of prayer. It was so tranquil and so peaceful (even with the left side of my face throbbing). After spending the time talking to God, I asked Him for a small favor…

God, you know that I know that you are with me right now. I know that you’ve just heard every single word that I’ve prayed. I don’t need to see you to know that you exist, but God, would you please give me a small gift today? Would you allow me to see you in some small way in this beautiful setting? Something that only I would understand? Maybe you could let me find a four-leaf clover in this patch of clover right beside me or perhaps a bird will fly by. Or – maybe you could flutter around me as a butterfly or perhaps a heart-shaped leaf. God – you pick, but please do so in a way that I know it’s you. And God, even if you choose to not reveal yourself to me in this way today, I still know you’re here with me. 

I began looking for Him. I ran my hand through the clover and peered closely in search of one with four leaves. I glanced over the leaves in search of one in the shape of a heart. I continued staring at the ground right in front of me, expecting a small bird or butterfly or something to land right in that clover patch. But, I didn’t see it. Just as I was beginning to throw in the towel, I sensed God telling me to look up.

And so I lifted my head to glance at the area about 20 feet in front of me. I never even moved my head to the left or right. I simply looked up and looked straight ahead, and there it was (or there He was)…a beautiful yellow butterfly. I actually think it might have even been the same butterfly I spotted when we arrived at the park (at least it looked the same). But, I lost sight of it until this very moment.

The butterfly flit around this area in front of me for about 10 seconds and then fluttered off to the right in the direction towards the river. I never saw it again the rest of the afternoon.

I could feel the tears forming in my eyes – this time from the precious gift I know God had just given me – not from the painful mess on my face.

And…isn’t true that so often we’re looking down at just what’s in front of us…whether be a current crisis or difficulty…and we miss the beautiful gift God has waiting on the horizon if we would only look up?

Thank you, Father, for guiding my eyes towards you yesterday!