Leah Stirewalt

Out of Deep Waters

I’m not Carmen Sandiego, but where in the world have I been?

by 1 Comment

adventuresWhile I wish I could say I’ve been traveling to some of the amazing places Carmen Sandiego used to frequent all over the world, my adventures over the last few months have been far less geographic, in nature, and much more organic.

Adventure seems to be the common denominator in my life these days, and in all truth, for several years now. Being the thrill-seeker I am, I wish I could say I’ve been sky diving over Hawaii, scuba diving the Great Barrier Reef, swimming with dolphins in Key West, and rafting the Colorado River in the Grand Canyon. But, to share those tales would simply be the start of my first fiction novel. My life adventures have been nothing short of prominent, but far more mundane to the average human.

I’ve had several wonderful things take place as of recently and some not so much. As I, once again, transition back to writing in this little oasis for my soul, let me briefly catch you up. The nerdy list-maker that I am will do so in just that way…

Leah’s First Half of 2019’s List of Life “Adventures”:

  1. We celebrated birthdays #22 (Anna), #8 (Ben), #5 (Austyn), and #11 (Josiah) all in the first half of the year.
  2. We remembered the second anniversary of Joel’s homegoing in February.
  3. I wrecked my minivan in February, and it’s drivable again thanks to the love of some amazing friends.
  4. We enjoyed Easter with the grands and their amazing parents (my bonus kiddos) and then extended the Easter celebration further by traveling to my mother-in-law’s home on Easter Sunday and spent it with my extended family.
  5. A straight-line wind storm tore through our property one night and destroyed the trampoline and swing set (minor in the grand scheme of things but still adventurous nonetheless).
  6. Austyn graduated from preschool! My baby heads to Kindergarten later this month.
  7. The “Great Flood of 2019” hit our county in early June and did unbelievable damage to many in our area. We had basement flooding and lots of yard damage, including losing ALL the mulch.
  8. Anna graduated from college in May and just began her career as a teacher earlier this month, teaching first grade!
  9. We celebrated Anna’s graduation with a long-planned-for trip to Disneyworld! Just the two of us.
  10. I experienced a new (and unprecedented for me) level of emotional stress that I’m currently learning how navigate more intentionally.
  11. I had my children home with me all summer, all day, everyday, for the first time EVER. That’s been a learning experience for me!
  12. We hosted one of my dearest friends and two of her daughters for a week in July. Lots of swimming and outdoor fun took place!
  13. I began doing contract social media management and editing for Mandy Roberson Media, and I absolutely LOVE working again…especially doing work that fuels me!
  14. We began attending a new church back in May and have really enjoyed connecting with this fantastic multi-cultural body of believers. And, most importantly…
  15. Josiah (my 11-year-old) gave his heart to Jesus and surrendered to His Lordship over his life. His amazing life adventure truly just began!

Those are just a few snippets of what’s been going on in my little world and what has kept me distracted from writing lately. As you can read, some of my recent life adventures have been wonderfully amazing but some of have been harder to endure. Either way…I march on (sometimes my march looks more like a crawl, if truth be told).

I have so many new posts already in the works, so I hope the days of long hiatuses from ODW are over. I also have a few other exciting things in the works here on the site, and I hope to unveil those sometime later this year. Thanks for continuing to read – even when the words have been few! Be blessed friends!

Year Two of Grief Comes to a Close

by 4 Comments

year two of grief comes to a closeAnother closing. Better yet, another new beginning. Year two of this new grief season of widowhood has come to an end. My beloved Joel departed this life for his eternal life two years ago today. On the one hand, it doesn’t seem possible it’s been that long. But, then there are the long days. The ones that make me want to pull my hair out, because they feel never ending. Oh…those days are long.

Even on those dreadful days, I find peace in the fact our time on this shattered earth is all too brief. Nothing in comparison to the beautiful infinity of Heaven which awaits my anxious soul. I long for those days of no more pain and no more tears. I long to reunite with both of my husbands and other loved ones who have gone before me. I long to see my Savior and worship my Heavenly Father with the saints who are already cheering me on from a vantage point I have yet to even understand. My finite mind can’t even begin to conceive of the joy that awaits me there. But until then…

I seek to live out joy on this earth. While many days, it’s hard to see how that’s even possible, I know it’s still there for the taking. And yet…it’s a choice. Joy is a choice. I can choose to be buried under the circumstances of this life and allow my weary soul to waste away to the point I am useless to the Kingdom while even still here on this earth. Or…I can choose joy in spite of my circumstances, knowing the life I have been given is still good. I. Choose. Joy.

Joel would want that for me. Chris would want that for me. My children need me to do that. My extended family and network of friends expect me to do that. And…my sweet Savior knows I can choose joy through Him. Only through Him. Outside of Him, I can’t imagine walking this Grief Road with unexplicable joy. The Author and Finisher of my life still has amazing plans for me, and I intend to walk out those plans with Him by my side, holding my hand, and even carrying me on the most difficult days.

I would be remiss to say those difficult days don’t weigh me down. They are so hard friends. So, so hard. They cause me to make rash decisions, poor choices, often leaving me feeling worse than I did before enduring those days. They cause me to question my purpose or God’s intention in allowing me to walk through this journey. But, He can take those questions. He can take my “why me?” moments. He can take my grief and bottles up every tear. He loves me that much!

  • He loved me that much even as I laid my head on my newly deceased husband’s chest praying for another breath, knowing it wasn’t to come.
  • He loved me that much as I drove home in the wee hours of the morning from the hospital, knowing I would have to share with my youngest kiddos that daddy had moved to Heaven.
  • He loved me that much as He inundated me with a support system of heroes in my new town who loved on my family deeply during those first days, weeks, and months of walking this new Grief Road.
  • And…He still loves me that much now, as I embark on another year of this journey.

And, so I press on! Year three is on the horizon, and I truly believe it will be a year of positive change with joy unspeakable. Will there be hard days? Absolutely! But, I know the joy I choose to find will be found, as I continue to seek His will. Goodbye year two. It was not wasted, even though it was hard. I am ready for the next steps of this journey!