(The pic has absolutely nothing to do with this blog post. I just thought I’d send you a little smile. They’ve been far and few between lately, so I thought I’d share the biggest one I’ve had in awhile.)

If I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it a hundred times since Chris died (11 weeks ago today, actually)…”I’m sorry I’m complaining. I know my problems can’t even compare to what you’ve gone through.” It breaks my heart every time I hear it.

While the death of a spouse does take the top spot on most stress scales, and the suicide of a spouse probably compounds that even more…the problems that others are experiencing are still just as real. I admit that Chris’ death has certainly put all of my past challenges and present challenges into perspective, and they certainly don’t compare even remotely. That’s MY experience and MY experience alone. Prior to his death, I had other problems that ranked at the top of the list.

So, for you, my friends…don’t discount your problems just because you haven’t experienced what I’ve experienced. And…I praise God that most of you reading this haven’t. But, I still care. I still pray for you. And, I still hurt when you hurt. Your problems are still real. And, you know what? The same God that is with me…comforting me…healing me…wants to do the same for you!

Thank you for loving me with your words of comfort, your precious prayers, and your sweet treasures! I don’t deserve any of it…but God has chosen to bless me by you. Just know how much I thank Him for you…most of you I’ve never even met and may not this side of heaven. But, you are most precious to me blog friends! You are loved!

(P.S. This will be my last post before She Speaks. I leave Friday morning to attend this amazing weekend with 650 other women in Concord, NC. I covet your prayers as I attempt to speak Friday and Saturday evenings in an evaluation group…my first time speaking since Chris died. Thanks friends!)

I shared on a previous blog how I went back last week to the site where my husband took his own life back in May. You can read more about that visit by clicking here.

My daughter has also been asking to go there as well. She felt that seeing it with her own eyes would help with some closure (like mother, like daughter). So, this afternoon, we took off towards the dense woods with a couple of friends to revisit what has become a rather sacred place to me.

This time, I spent some time really up close and personal checking out greater details of the area…

The stream behind the campsite…

The tree with a “Y” shape, much like my own question (Why?)…

The spot where my husband took his last breath…

After about 30 minutes, we decided to head back to the car to prepare to leave. One of the ladies in the group picked up a couple of stones from the area as a keepsake, of sorts. She called them her “Chris stones”. Well, of course, we had to follow suit…so the rest of us headed back down to the campsite to search for our own Chris stones.

Being at the tail end of the group, my friend directly in front of me bent down and picked up a stone and said, “I’ve found your stone.” I looked at her questioningly, but she told me to close my eyes and hold out my hand.

I obeyed.

And, in my hand, she placed this…

Another kiss from heaven…