Adoption / Orphans Archives - Page 14 of 16

I don’t think it’s a big secret that God gave Joel and I huge hearts for children in need of a home. Whether it’s for short-term placement (fostering) or a forever family (adoption), God has prepped us for this season of our life in life-altering ways.

As many of you know, we are currently in the process of adopting a sibling group from a country in Eastern Europe. We are definitely moving through the process, but it’s still a long journey! Our dossier is now in-country and has been translated, and we are waiting on the stamp of approval from the Ministry of Justice’s office, and the next step is a referral (wait time is currently 6-24 months)!

I’ve spoken at length about our adoption journey, and you can certainly read even more about it here and here! But, something I haven’t spoken about much is our experience with foster parenting.

In all honesty…it’s been a little tougher to wrap our heads around. Each placement situation has been drastically different, but I can start by saying it’s been one of the toughest and yet most rewarding experiences of our lives.

To bring you up to speed, we began our fostering journey a little over a year ago when we attended an orientation session at our local county Department of Health and Human Services. The very next week, we began MAPP classes, the state required 30-hour training session. We met with other foster-parent hopefuls for three hours over the course of each of the next 10 weeks and had our minds blown both by the blessings and nightmares in the foster care world.

After completing all requirements for licensure, our paperwork was submitted to the state for approval in late April/early May, and we received our license in June!

We’ve had a couple placements come and go already…one lasted two months but needed more therapeutic care than we were trained to provide. Another lasted only four days and then went to live with a grandparent. Even after only four days, we were attached.

The little bundle of cuteness we currently have living with us has been in our home for five months. He arrived when he was 6.5 months old, and we’ll be celebrating his first birthday later this month. When we “signed up” to be foster parents, we indicated our age preference to be 3-8-years-old. Caring for an infant never even crossed our minds as something we could do. We’ve quickly discovered it isn’t something we can do – only with God’s help have we even made it this far. But, we know He called us to do this, and He’ll equip us each step of the way.

Unlike with adoption, the biggest difference with foster parenting is in the fact the children will more than likely be returning home one day. We knew that when beginning this journey, but we began it nonetheless…out of obedience to what we know God called us to do. Even so, I can’t tell you the number of times we’ve heard things like…

“I could never give up a child.”

“How are you going to be able to send him back one day?”

“This is why I could never foster…having to send the children back home one day.”

I understand those statements. Truly I do. But, I can’t help but feel like a knife is being thrust into my heart whenever one of those comments passes my ears. And…each and every single time, the knife gets lodged deeper and deeper.

The truth of the matter is this…

In my flesh, I could never give up a child either. But, these children do not belong to us. Even if they were our biological children, they still don’t belong to us. All of our children…biological, adopted, fostered…belong to God. In essence, God has “loaned” them to us to love and care for until He calls them into the next phase of His plan…marriage, career, reunification with bio parents, etc. and one day – their eternal home.

A sweet friend was the one who recently shared that she could never foster children, because she would never be able to send them back home. At first, those words hurt…as if to say, I was some kind of a monster for being able to do such a thing. Honestly, it pains me more to think that these children may have to go back into some of those environments. But, imagine if everybody felt the way my friend did. What would happen to the children that can no longer remain in their biological homes (at least, for now)? Where would these children go then? An orphanage? Or perhaps remain in those often dangerous and dire home situations a little longer while the state seeks placement? I shudder to think of the alternatives.

Foster parents are drastically needed right now. I know fostering is not for everybody, and God doesn’t call everyone to foster. But, if God has been tugging at your heart to do this, I plead with you to be obedient to that calling. No matter how hard this might be, He will equip you to fulfill His calling! And, if you know this is an area He hasn’t called you to and never will…would you commit to pray for those on the front lines…those who have opened their doors to accept these fragile and often brokenhearted children? Your prayers make more of a difference than you may ever know in this lifetime.

One of the many things our adoption journey includes is LOTS of education. Sometimes this comes in the form of online virtual classrooms, books to read, videos to watch, workbooks to complete, and essays to write. The goal? To make sure we’re as educated as possible before we bring our kiddos home! However, sometimes I feel the goal with the education is to highlight the worst-case scenarios and scare us half to death…you know…”just in case”.

For me…it hasn’t scared me…it’s only made me that much more determined to get to my children as soon as possible.

Going into this, Joel and I knew (beyond all doubt) this was God’s calling for us. We know the risks (even more now with the education component behind us). We know what we could face. And…we know God has hand-picked the children He wants us to parent and has equipped us to do so. This wasn’t a decision we took lightly.

Not a fly by the seat of our pants whim.

Not an attempt to portray ourselves as rescuers.

Not just a desire to make ourselves feel younger by taking on young children again.

This was a decision bathed in prayer…and tears (if truth be told). And, as we’ve discovered going through the process…it takes a lot more strength and endurance to travel this journey than we possess.

For me, I find I need strength in two main areas: (1) patience while waiting on provision, and (2) trusting God to care for our children while they are still living in dire situations in their orphanages. If I may be a little transparent, these are the two areas I seem to be the weakest in right now.

Provision…ahhh…provision. We knew this would be a BIG part of the journey. Most families don’t have this kind of money sitting around in a bank account ready to spend on adopting (I know that many others do, but they are often typically not the ones on the adopting side of this journey). So, when God called us to this…I chuckled…much like Sarah chuckled when God told her she would be with child at her ripe old age. What made me laugh? Did I doubt God’s ability to provide? Not. At. All. I’ve seen God provide over and over and over again in life whatever was needed (not necessarily my wants but ALWAYS my needs). Adoption is His calling on our lives, so I do trust Him to provide EVERYTHING we need to make it come to pass. I chuckled, because I knew this would involved stretching me in areas that I don’t like being stretched. I can’t stand asking people for money. And…essentially…that’s what we have to do…all the time. It might be in the form of a direct ask, or perhaps to shop our yard sale, maybe to buy raffle tickets, come to a fundraiser meal, buy some Pampered Chef products, or pick an envelope number, etc. We’ve tried to provide avenues that even the lowest income families would have a way to still support us in the journey. If I knew I’d get a yes every single time, it would be much easier, but the fear of rejection cripples me a bit on this one. So…God is stretching me. He’s also reminding me that as long as I’m following His lead in who to ask and what fundraisers to do…then if rejection comes, they aren’t rejecting us…it’s Him they are rejecting. It. Still. Hurts. But, He can fix my hurt too!

Trust…Oh – this is a big one. As I mentioned before, Joel and I have had the (unfortunate) privilege of experiencing loss and disappointment far too often in our lives. While, we’ve seen the hand of God work in astounding ways, thereby knowing we can trust Him with ANYTHING, we also have felt the unsettling effects of fear creep into our lives when we least expect it. For me, I know we have a couple of kiddos living in an orphanage in a small country in Eastern Europe. Are they being loved or simply tossed about as another number? Are they being beaten or denied food? Are they being treated well or being treated inhumanely? What are their little eyes having to see and their little ears listening to? Do they believe they have a new mommy and daddy coming for them one day? Do they miss their first mommy and daddy? Do they even know they existed? Are they scared? Are they getting enough to eat? Who is caring for them when they catch a cold? Ahhh…the endless questions.

These are many of the questions that penetrate my mind when I allow myself to think too long about it! Makes me want to SCREAM!!!!! I have to TRUST Him to care for our babies. He loves them more than we do.

Father God – be their mommy and their daddy until You unite us together. Prepare them to receive us with open arms. Prepare ALL of our hearts to love each other fully! And…Abba…please plant urgency in the hearts of those you’ve called to financially and prayerfully join us on this journey!

But I will protect the orphans who remain among you. Your widows, too, can depend on me for help. ~Jeremiah 49:11 (NLT)

Through Foster Parenting Eyes

Feeling a Sense of Urgency