After an unexpected hiatus, I’m back! I planned to be a little hit or miss while vacationing at Disney; I didn’t realize the blogging break would end up being much longer.
We had a wonderful trip to Disney, but it wasn’t without its challenges. I was reminded, quite frequently, of something I already know so well. Children (people in general, actually) thrive on structure. Even with the week planned out, the structure our daily lives resemble looks nothing like the craziness a week of vacation brings. That said, the kiddos were in awe of Disney and all it brings. We had many unexpected surprises along the way, and the cast mates (Disney staff) went out of their way for our family. Even so, by the end of each day…I had nothing left. It took it all out of me, and then some.
As soon as we arrived home, we stepped into high speed, preparing for the next adventure. My children are currently spending this week with some dear friends of mine in Savannah, GA. Lorie and her husband, Duane, are seasoned adoptive parents, and they also have six biological children. Their children are about the same age as mine. She offered me this week of respite several months ago, and I happily accepted.
I crave respite from my 24/7 parental responsibilities. Joel and I shared our parenting duties well, but as soon as He went Home to Heaven, it all fell on me. It’s been emotionally very difficult to be “on” all the time for the children and try to grieve the way my heart needs to at times. So this gift of respite was huge, but I didn’t realize how huge.
Last Monday (the day after my children went to Savannah), I had a scheduled inpatient surgical procedure. I was so glad the kiddos were well taken care of during my 1-2 night planned hospital stay. One less worry. However, my hospital stay turned into four nights, and I almost had to spend a fifth night.
Without going into all the details, I had stomach surgery. The surgery itself was very successful (sounds familiar…oh yes…I said similar words after Joel’s surgery in February), but the post-surgery recovery brought a few challenges…my blood pressure kept dropping, I ran a low-grade fever, my resting heart rate was higher than normal, and my oxygen saturation rates were too low. In addition to that, I have a bruise along my abdomen that reaches out to my side and almost to my back that is U.G.L.Y. I bruise easily anyway, but I’ve never had anything like this before. It was a showcase piece for all kinds of hospital staff to view. Nobody could believe it until they saw it. The bruise was actually the lesser of the evils, but it brought the biggest reaction.
The other problems I kept exhibiting led to many tests to rule out the biggies (i.e., blood clots, tumors), and I’m thankful I had a surgeon willing to be so thorough with me. It probably didn’t hurt that they all knew Joel’s story and wanted to avoid a repeat with me. They did well. I really am very pleased. I’m just slowly regaining strength to do much of anything.
It’s hard being “down” all the time. You would think I would have learned that lesson after my foot surgeries this spring. I’m just wired to be on all the time, it seems. God, in His abundant mercy, is patiently teaching me about rest. Something I need and crave, but seldom take. This blog hiatus was just one piece of the puzzle, but apparently I needed it too. Thank you for your patience as I get “back in the saddle again”.
One more thing… With August now here, I face another difficult “first” later this month. Our anniversary. I covet your prayers ahead of that day (the 25th), as my heart already hurts at the thought of another missed celebration with my love.
