Often when I’m studying God’s Word, I’ll have an “aha moment” over a passage that I’ve read several times in the past. I love the fact that I’m constantly gleaning new wisdom, revelation, insight, knowledge and depth into God’s Word each time I seek to know Him more. Just yesterday, I was studying in chapter 20 of the book of Numbers. This happens to be the passage where Moses disobeys God, thereby causing him to lose the blessing of being able to lead the Israelites into the promised land. One simple act of disobedience led to Moses missing one of God’s greatest blessings. WOW! How many blessings have I already missed from disobeying God? I shutter to think of the multitude. God WILL fulfill His purpose with or without me, just like He fulfilled His promise using Joshua to eventually lead the Israelites into the land of milk and honey rather than Moses. However, I would rather be one that God uses to fulfill his purpose.

Lord God, please forgive my acts of disobedience. Please help me to walk daily in your will. Allow me to receive ALL of the blessings you have ready to pour down upon me. I love you Lord!

I need to make a little confession – I’m super frustrated right now. Almost 2 months ago, I had surgery on my foot to correct a problem that was causing a lot of pain. I had been enduring the pain for almost 2 years, and it had literally stopped my new running program in its tracks (not to mention a lot of other exercise). On the one hand, the surgery DID correct part of the pain – hallelujah! However, the worst part (which has been in my toes) is still there. I’m trying to simply chalk it up to still healing – which could be the case. It takes time to recover from these surgeries, however I also know that my toes feel the same as before, which doesn’t give me hope. Why is this happening? I, and so many others, prayed that the surgery would be a success resulting in complete healing. I just know God wants to me to be healthy, so why would He allow something that could impede my health? I keep asking why…why…why? Sure enough – like He always manages to do when I give Him a moment to speak to me, He reminded me clearly in His word…

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9)

WOW! Why does the word have to be so piercing sometimes? In all honesty, I want God’s plans and thoughts over mine anyday. It’s just hard to let go sometimes – isn’t it? I’ve seen some pretty terrible things happen to people I love that honestly don’t make sense sometimes, but each time I start to question it – without fail, I’m brought back to these verses. I guess this time I’m the one that needed the gentle reminder!

In life I’ve learned that sometimes we don’t get what we asked for, because God is still teaching us a more important lesson that might be missed otherwise. Or – maybe He wants us to rely completely on Him, and we haven’t done that fully. Sometimes – we’re in the middle of sin, and He may use a “no” to speak conviction to our heart. Often times – He has something much bigger and better planned for us on the horizon, but we have to experience a little pain to get to the victory. Quiet honestly, however, we may never know why our prayers aren’t answered. It’s in those times, that relying on who God is and on His word have to be enough! The fact is, He is God, and He can see things we can’t see and knows things we don’t know. But one thing I know to be true – He loves me with a love I’ll never understand, so I choose to BELIEVE Him, TRUST Him, and LOVE Him in return!