It’s here! Birthday week in our house, that is. One week from today (1/23) my daughter turns 15. Yikes. And even more yikes…I turn the big 4-0 on Saturday (1/21). Honestly, I still feel 25 sometimes, so this just doesn’t seem possible. However, I’m holding out with great hope that my 40s and beyond will be the best years of my life.

For the past two years, I’ve had such joy in doing a birthday blog giveaway. I’m doing that again this year…but with a twist.

My sweet friend, Amber, had her birthday earlier this month and spent the better part of a day doing a random act of kindness (RAOK) for each year of her life. You can read about it by clicking here. I thought it was such a wonderful idea, and I knew I had to steal it! I find so much pleasure in doing for others (especially those RAOKs) that I decided I would do 40 random acts of kindness for my 40th birthday. However, I don’t have the energy that Amber does to do it all in one day, so I’ve spread mine out over the 10-11 days leading up to my birthday. I’m in the middle of this birthday project and will report on it Sunday  – the day after my birthday, so you can see how everything turned out. But, let’s just say I’m having a blast so far! My daughter has even joined in on the madness and is doing 15 RAOKs for her 15th birthday. I loved watching her in action at our local Walmart over the weekend. It did this mama’s heart good! 🙂

Anyway, back to the giveaway….

Here’s how it will work. First off, it begins tonight (sorry this post is getting up a little late) and will run through midnight on Saturday (the 21st). I’ll announce the winner on Sunday evening (the 22nd). How can you enter you might be wondering?

1) Perform a random act of kindness for somebody this week and then come back here and leave a comment saying what you did. If you want to do 2, 3, 30, 50…you can come back here and leave that many comments. Essentially…for each unique random act of kindness you do…come back here and leave a comment. Each comment gets you an entry (don’t bundle all of your RAOKs into one comment, because that will only get you one entry). See what I mean? Now – as for the word “unique”. Let’s say that you buy 10 plants and plan to give them to 10 different people…that only counts as one comment entry. But, if you buy 10 plants & give them to 10 people and then carry groceries out for someone at the store, and giveaway 5 Starbucks cards – that would be considered 3 different entries (because that’s 3 unique types of RAOKs). I hope this makes sense.

2) The other way to enter is to post about this giveaway on Twitter and/or Facebook and provide the link back to this blog post. THEN…come back here and comment and tell me you’ve done. The comment is what Random Integer will pick up when selecting the winner.

So, you can get your first entries in immediately by spreading the word on Twitter and Facebook and then come back after you complete your RAOKs. They don’t have to be big and elaborate friends…just bless somebody…randomly…when they’re not especting it. Can you imagine all the smiles this week?

So, what will you win? I’ve got a picture of it below, but specifically…you will win:

1) A Daily Prayer Organizer – what better random (or intentional) act of kindness can you do for somebody than pray for them. This is a WONDERFUL organizer new on the market. I have one and LOVE it!

2) Two journals – one to keep and one for you to give away (another RAOK)

3) Two $5.00 Starbucks giftcards – one to keep and one for you to give away (and yet another RAOK)

4) Lastly, a box of blank notecards. Leaving a kind note for someone is another powerful way to express love and you can even do it randomly!

I’m praying for a great turnout with this giveaway, because I truly want to see all of us catch the “RAOK fever”. If you’ve never had much experience before with offering random acts of kindness…trust me, you will be so blessed!

Now…on your mark…get set…go bless somebody!!!

Don’t forget to come back and here and tell me about it and get entered to win! 🙂

In the beginning, I visited daily. Sometimes more than once a day. My trips to the cemetery to sit at my husband’s grave are absolutely precious to me. It’s where I spend a lot of time praying, weeping, “talking” to Chris, and thinking. He’s buried in a beautiful memorial park in a section that sits on a small hill with a mountain landscape dropped in right behind it – or right in front depending on the angle from where you’re observing. It’s a beautiful God painting!

After I returned to work following Chris’ death, I continued to head to the cemetery before I would go home many nights each week. I know Chris isn’t actually there, but just knowing his earthly body is just a few feet under from where I stand or sit makes me feel close to him (as crazy as this might sound). On one occasion, I was talking with a co-worker who also lost a close family member a few months before me, and she asked me a question that she thought would make me wonder if she’d lost her marbles. She asked, “Sometimes, do you ever just want to dig him up so you could see him again, hold him again, feel him again?” She went on to share that she had been thinking those strange things herself regarding her loved one. Interestingly enough…I totally got that. As crazy as it may appear, I also wanted to do that very impossible thing.

As the months went on, the colder days set in, school started back for my new high schooler, and life got a little more hectic. My cemetery days shrunk to just weekend days. I felt so guilty for that. It was almost as if I thought Chris would be disappointed if I didn’t show up for several days. I KNOW (in my “knower” as my friend Lorie would say) that this is crazy thinking. He’s NOT there. However, it didn’t stop me from feeling the way I did.

Then came November. The time changed, and the shorter days became even shorter and much colder. This particular cemetery closes at sunset – meaning I often can’t get there after work anymore during the week. Then, I discovered my weekends were full – going out of town, running errands, etc. Before I knew it – I hadn’t been to Chris’ grave in a couple of weeks. Upon realization of that – I wept. I felt I had betrayed him. Seriously. I know this makes no sense, in many ways, but this was huge to me. The guilt was almost more than I could take.

It’s practically mid-January now. I’ve only been to visit his gravesite maybe 5 times in the last 12 weeks. For some, even that’s too much. For me? It’s just another bend in the Grief Road. Does this mean I care less? On the contrary actually. As I blogged just a week or so ago, I’m more in love with my husband now than ever before. I want to honor him now every way imaginable. But, the cemetery guilt is leaving. I know Chris would not want me out there all the time. I can still “talk to him” from the comforts of home.

And, honestly, I look forward to spring – the warmer, longer days – when I can spend a little more time in that peaceful, special place out of “want to” rather than guilt. Oh, how I miss him so…