“I’ve been told this day was coming for many months now. My Creator announced to me in August that He had a very special plan for me…so special, in fact, that it would require my leaving the only home I’ve ever known…forever. My home…this beautiful farm displayed with so many of my pine-scented friends. Some have been growing here for over a decade. Others are just new saplings. But me? I’m almost 10 feet tall, so I’ve seen a lot of friends and family leave our homeplace through the years. I’ve gotten used to it actually, but it never really hit me that my day might actually come too. Until today. Even after my Creator told me several months ago, I never really thought it would happen until now.

I wondered if it would hurt. You know…when they take that loud buzzing thing and cut me from my base. I’ve seen it happen so much…the noise…the topple…the dust. But does it hurt?

But, Creator tells me that somebody else…a lady…has been hurting a lot more than what I’ll experience today. In fact, He tells me that the small sting I might experience in the process is worth it for the joy that it will bring this lady. I don’t know why she hurts, but Creator tells me He needs me to do this for Him, because He loves her so and wants to see that smile on her face when she sees me for the first time.

I knew her voice the first time I heard it. I can’t explain how I knew it was her…I just did. She kept looking at lots of trees all around me but seemed so disappointed. I often heard her mutter to her friends that were with her, ‘I know I’ll know which one it is when I see it.’ Was she talking about me? Was she looking for me?

I could feel her footsteps getting closer, and then I saw her, and her face beamed with joy when she took her first look at me. Creator affirmed it was her.


This is the one, my beloved creation. I need you to go live in her home for the next 6 weeks and bring her abundant joy.

I don’t know how to do that?

Just by being there.

He whispered a few more things to me…something about her husband now being with Him in Heaven, something about her sadness over the upcoming Christmas season, a little about how she’s expecting me to bring her a lot of joy and how many of her friends and family have sent her many items to adorn me with.

I want to feel honored to be in this role. I really do. But, I’m a little sad, because my own death is near. Is this what it’s come to for me? All of these years in this beautiful place to be over in about 6 weeks (provided she generously waters me daily)?

But, my wise Creator shared one more thing with me that clearly told me why I had to do this (and why I should be honored at the opportunity…

He reminded me that often it takes death of one thing to bring life to another.”

Me and my ‘Chris Tree’!

I sat down on the couch and turned on the remote to browse for television “background noise”. I pulled my laptop closer, as I planned to spend time editing some pictures I took for a friend recently. And then I realized it. Something so minor to the “normal” person but yet so profound to this grieving widow. Actually, two significant events just took place, and I almost didn’t realize it until God pointed them out to me.

1) I turned on the TV. I. Turned. On. The. TV. This is HUGE! You’re probably thinking this lady has really flipped out now! Just stick with me for a minute, and I’ll explain.

The night my husband disappeared, the day before he was found dead, we had our usual Tuesday night family activity planned…watching The Biggest Loser! Instead of watching The Biggest Loser, I was driving around our city looking for my husband, knowing that something had to be wrong – he never missed our Tuesday Biggest Loser night! Since my husband’s passing, I haven’t watched any TV. The TV has been on some but only if my daughter has turned it on or if visiting friends have turned it on – but not by my own hand.

And so…Friday night, I sat down and turned on the TV. Granted, I turned it on to some digital music channel (just for the white noise), but I used the remote and turned it on nonetheless.

2) Not only did I turn on the TV, but I sat on the right side of the couch. Again, you’re probably wondering “what in the world”? Whenever Chris and I sat together on the couch, or cuddled on the couch, or better yet – fell asleep on the couch…he was always on the left…me on his right! We were such creatures of habit. However, after his death, I sat on the left side. Always. I think it was my way of drawing closer to him in some strange sort of way. I even slept on the couch for the first couple of weeks after He went to Heaven, and I always laid my head in the exact place where he would sit.

But, Friday night…I went back to the right hand side of the couch – where I always sat before. Again, it was completely without forethought. I just plopped down, picked up the remote, and it was then the Lord whispered to my heart,

“Look at you now my daughter! Look at where you are and what you’re doing!”

I sat slightly stunned. And, He continued…

“You may think this is insignificant, but it’s very significant. You keep saying you need to see with your eyes the healing I’m doing in your heart. Take a look and see my child. Take a look…”

The right side of the couch…the remote…and a smile on my face! Thank you Father!