Leah Stirewalt

Out of Deep Waters

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Tuesday

November 1, 2011 by Leah Stirewalt 4 Comments

Today is another Tuesday. I’ve come to not like them too much, because they remind me of the Tuesday that almost took my breath away 26 weeks ago. Here’s a little of what it looked like that day…

My husband kissed me goodbye, as he left for work before my feet even touched the floor – nothing different about today – our typical routine.

Not too long after, my daughter and I are dressed and off to school and work, respectively.

After getting settled in at work, I read my emails – including my morning “love email” from my husband. Such the romantic – that man of mine!

A few hours into my work day, I received a call that I had dreamed of getting. I had been offered a position at Blue Ridge Broadcasting (106.9 the Light). I had been praying about this for awhile and knew I was ready to accept if offered the position.

My current bosses stayed in meetings most of the day, and so I skipped lunch in hopes of catching them then to deliver my resignation. My hubby and I would normally talk at lunch, but I just sent him a quick text letting him know my dilemma. He understood and just asked me to keep him posted.

At 3:30, I was finally able to text my husband and let him know that I would be meeting with my bosses soon. He responded with a short, but sweet text reply. Little did I know that would be the last text message I would ever receive from him.

By 5:45, my resignation had been delivered and was graciously and understandably accepted. I packed up to head home for the day and called my Chris on the way home. No answer. Hmmm…that’s a bit strange, because he should be home by now. But, he’d been working late for a few days getting ready for meetings later that week.

After 30 minutes of no reply (completely unlike him), I called his work phone. Again, nothing. Then I texted him at both cell numbers. Nothing.

By this time, I’m home and beginning to worry. I pray. I pray hard. Lord, I don’t know what to do.

I started texting and calling friends of mine to pray that he would respond and turn up soon. At this point, I know they thought I was being a little ridiculous. Soon, we would learn that not to be the case.

I decided to check our bank account online to see if he had stopped to get gas yet. He mentioned in his last text to me that he needed to stop and do that. Sure enough…he did so around 5:45…about the time I tried to first call him. Strange. Well, maybe his phone is not acting right.

Finally, around 7:00 pm, I took off in the car…I drove around everywhere looking for his truck. I went to the gas station where he pumped gas. I went to the grocery store he frequents, the gym we work out at, his workplace…everyplace I could think he might be. No Chris.

Now I was beyond worried…I was panicked. I called a couple of friends, and they could now sense the true panic. My friend, Lorie, offered to come over (even though she lives 40 minutes away). I didn’t care…I needed her there…anyone there! In the meantime, she and I both called all of the area and regional hospitals in case he’d been brought in. Nothing.

(As I type these words…these feelings well up inside me all over again. They are almost suffocating.)

Finally, we head to the police station about 10:00 – after talking with one of the sergeants on the phone. I could tell this was routine for them. What I could not explain clearly or loudly enough… “THIS IS NOT ROUTINE FOR ME!!!!” Something was wrong with my husband. They just had to help me find him.

After confirming, by surveillance, that he was at the gas station I told them he was at pumping gas, they did the “usual”. Send out squad cars to the local hotels to make sure he wasn’t there in some kind of secret rendezvous. Sickening. I know this was protocol, but it just sickened me. In the meantime, he could have had a wreck, ran off the side of the road and be laying there begging for help. Or maybe he’d had a heart attack. Instead…they were working hard to find him “shacked up” with somebody at a local hotel. I was so angry but went along with their agenda. I’ll prove them wrong!

Then, the cell phone pings…finally able to find a general location of where Chris might be. Unfortunately, it was a broad location in the middle of the woods. But…not anywhere close to these hotels they’d been searching.

I look down at the time on my cell phone…it was after midnight…no longer Tuesday.

To be continued…

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Thank You

October 31, 2011 by Leah Stirewalt 2 Comments

It’s hard to believe that, including today, there are exactly 10 blogging days left of this 40-day adventure. No worries – I don’t intend to fall of the blog-wagon after I complete this. I’ve actually been praying about that – how much does God actually want me to blog anyway? He’s making that clear, and I’ll share more about that the end of this journey.

But, in all honesty…it hasn’t been all that difficult this time around. Maybe I just have more to share. Maybe I enjoy writing again. Maybe…well, who knows? I just know that most days, I look forward to coming to this little cozy cyber space and pouring out my heart. Even more, I always look forward to you joining me here. So, I just wanted to say THANK YOU!

Thank you for staying connected and walking with me on this Grief Road.

Thank you for being my cheerleaders with your words of encouragement, your heartfelt prayers, your comments, your private messages on Facebook and email.

Thank you to so many of you for taking part in my Chris Tree project – something very near and dear to my heart this year.

Thank you for your willingness to read and respond to my “ugly” posts as well as my not-so-ugly writings.
Thank you for being supportive of Anna during her guest posting about her last weekend with Chris.

Thank you to so many of you that have found sneaky little ways to bless me either at home or where I work with surprise flowers, cards, care packages, or singing telegrams (ok – well maybe not the last one – Ha! Ha!)

Thank you for giving me a chance to share my story…the good, the bad, and the ugly parts.

Thank you for participating in my Christmas card project. It’s not too late if you still would to be added to my Christmas card list. Just click here for more information.

Thank you for honoring Chris by taking care of his grieving wife.

Thank you for loving me and comforting me in a way that pleases Christ Jesus!

Simply, THANK YOU!!!!

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Meet Leah

Leah StirewaltI became "twice widowed" when my beloved prince, Joel, went to his Heavenly home after a brief and sudden illness on February 12, 2017. I’m in a place of shock and devastation, but I intend to use this format to journal my second widow journey, much like I did my first. It’s my open journal, my electronic oasis, and it’s often the place I find true healing as I allow myself to “come clean” with my feelings. Read More...

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