October 6, 2007 – My first adventure to Molly’s Knob with my sweet Chris. He had been wanting to take me up there, and me – the girl ALWAYS up for just about any adventure – was happy to oblige.

Chris at Hungry Mother Lake – right before our ascent up Molly’s Knob Trail! 

The leaves were absolutely gorgeous that day. The sky was a perfect blue, and the lake was divinely sparkling.

 

Chris and I were both in excellent physical shape at the time, and we ascended to the top of Molly’s Knob relatively quickly (considering we took the wrong trail to begin with and added about an hour to our journey). But, we didn’t care. We were newly in love – eager to share every moment we could possibly have together.

Once at the top of the knob, the views were breathtakingly beautiful. We settled in for a picnic lunch and about an hour of rest before heading back down the mountain to close out our day’s adventure. We never forgot that day and had intended to do it again…this year!

October 22, 2011 – today – I DID go back to Hungry Mother State Park in Marion, VA to trek up to Molly’s Knob again. This time – no Chris. Rather, I believe he watched from heaven as his sweet sister, Lisa, joined me on this journey that I still longed to do, in memory of my husband.

It was another perfect day. The day started out with fall crispy cool temperatures, necessitating layers of dress. However, before we were halfway through the hike – the jackets and sweatshirts were GONE! We both giggled with pain. Lisa had never hiked this before and couldn’t believe it was as tough as it was. Me? I obviously wasn’t in the same top-knotch physical shape I was in four years ago.

This particular hike isn’t that long (just about 2 miles including the final Vista Trail), but it’s an uphill climb all the way. My calves, my feet, my toes are screaming at me tonight! They’ll get over it…they need to toughen up anyway. 🙂

We finally – after a few stops to take pictures and talk to people – made it to the top!

We had a quick protein-laden snack – took more pictures and then headed back down the mountain. We both believed the descent was just as tough (in some respects) as the climb up, because it was so steep, and we were trying to keep from falling. I also took time on the hike back down to look for more heart-shaped rocks – similar to the ones that I found at the campsite where Chris took his life. Anything heart-shaped I find in nature when I’m focusing on doing something that relates to Chris – I consider a kiss from heaven. I looked and looked but only found this stone. It sort of has a heart-shaped look to it, but it wasn’t as defined as the one I found a few months back. But, I picked it up anyway…just in case…

Just as we were nearing the finish line…the last 10 feet of the trail…I did the unexpected. Yes. I. Did. I rolled and sprained my ankle! I was so frustrated with myself but grateful that it didn’t happen until the end. I could still walk, so it wasn’t that bad of a sprain. But, it hurt so badly that I simply had to stop for a moment to “re-group”. As I was bent over looking at my ankle…I saw it. And, I knew…it was for me…another kiss from heaven. This time inside of a hickory nut. And to think…without the sprain to get my attention…I never would have even noticed.

It was a great day! Thank you Lisa! Thank you Jesus!

I told her my last name and simply stated I was there to pick up a prescription.

“Leah Gillen?” she asked.

I was a bit surprised when she called out my first name too without even looking it up in the computer or anything.

Further she explained, “I filled your prescription much earlier today, and your name just stuck with me for some reason.” I simply smiled.

Normally, I just go through our local pharmacy’s drive thru to pick up any prescriptions, but interestingly they called me yesterday and said they needed me to bring in my insurance card, because there was a slight problem, and they needed to load it again in the system.

So, this time…I went inside to pick up my order. I’m not sure how the conversation even turned in this direction, but suddenly I found myself sharing with her that my husband passed away a little over 5 months ago.

She stopped everything, and with complete sincerity offered, “I’m sorry. I really am sorry. I’m not just saying that.”

I thanked her, and we simply continued to chat a little. She never asked me how he died (one of the first actually), and I never offered. But, she then began telling me that this had been a difficult year for her too.

“My mom and both grandparents passed away this year. And, my dad passed away when I was 16.” (She couldn’t be more than 27-28 at this point.)

“Wow!” I was floored. “You have had a hard year, haven’t you?”

She shrugged a little and then said, “Yes. But, I believe everything happens for a reason.” Looking down at my insurance card, she then proceeded to say, “I see that you work for the Billy Graham organization. I guess you probably believe everything happens for a reason too?”

I simply smiled. The sweet assumptions. But…she was right. “Yes, I do.” But, she wasn’t finished.

“But, do you ever ask why? I mean…why did this happen to you…to me?” She stared at me…cautiously inquisitive. Maybe she was afraid of my answer. Maybe she’s surfing for an answer to her own “why”. And so I began…

“Honestly? Yes, I’ve asked that question a time or two in my life. But, honestly…my question as of late has been ‘why not me?’. Why should the yucky stuff happen to somebody else instead of me? Why should I be exempt? We live in a fallen, broken world. So, who’s to say I shouldn’t experience any of this? Do I like it? Absolutely not. Do I wish my husband were still with me? YES! YES! YES! But, I wouldn’t wish this pain on my worse enemy. So, why not me?”

I was afraid of her response to my little moment of dialogue. Was she ready for that? Or did I just give her more than she could chew at the moment? I just wanted to be honest.

Her response? “You’re right. Absolutely right. I guess that’s why your name stuck with me today. God wanted to connect us tonight.”

And. He. Did. Just. That.