Leah Stirewalt

Out of Deep Waters

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Chris’ Last Weekend – Guest Blog Post from His Stepdaughter

October 18, 2011 by Leah Stirewalt 10 Comments

Happy Tuesday blog friends!

I have a treat for you today. I asked my daughter, Anna, if she would consider writing a guest post during this 40-day blogging journey. She was hesitant, at first, because she didn’t really know what to write about.

I said, “Write about whatever you want. Maybe something about Chris and your time together.”

“I’ve got it!” she shared excitedly. “I’ll write about his last weekend. The one he spent with me.”

And, without further ado…here’s Anna…

———————————————————————-

Many of you might be wondering what went down on the last weekend Chris was alive. Well I can tell you, because I spent it with him. Just him and me. Not my mom. Just him and me.  

I had a lot of fun with him that weekend. I never would have expected what would come 3 days from that Sunday. I always enjoyed the times with him when my mom went on a trip (whether it be to Africa, a work trip, or a conference). I always missed my mom, but he always made it more fun even though she was not there.  

On this particular weekend, my mom and aunt were going to a conference together. So I stayed home with Chris. Now this weekend was very different. First of all, it was Friday, April 29th…..the day of the Royal Wedding!!!!!! My aunt and I decided that we would get up at 4am to watch it (and I would at least watch as much as I could before I went to school). Chris came out to eat breakfast before work and didn’t think we were serious about getting up. Now, Aunt Kandi and I have turned into huge Royal Wedding fanatics. We even have the DVD and collectors’ magazines. Since I wasn’t able to see their first kiss, my aunt even took a picture of it from the TV with her phone and sent me a text picture of it while I was at school.  

She and my mom left to go to the conference while I was at school. So I rode the bus home, and Chris got there shortly after. We decided we wanted to go to Ruby Tuesday’s for dinner. Now everyone knows Chris was the baking master, so I asked if we could make cookies with icing.  

His response was simply, “Call your mom and ask.”  

So I did and she said, “Why not!”  

We went to the store and got all the ingredients. I love cooking or baking (especially with Chris), so this was lots of fun!  

Now Chris always liked to go to bed early, but I didn’t want to be the only one up so I would too. The following day we ate our cookies, and I watched the royal wedding over and over, which he did not appreciate too much. J
Chris and I would always play games, and so that’s exactly what we did. Battleship, Rummy, Yahtzee, everything…we played everything. He took an hour nap that day, and then we played more games and ate more cookies! That was the best weekend I had ever had with him!  

I now know God sent my mom and aunt to that conference to give me this special weekend with Chris that I will never forget. Nobody else shared that last weekend with him. Only me! We won’t know until we get to heaven why Chris committed suicide.  

My favorite Bible verse reminds me that God is still in control and has great plans for us.  

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
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All I Want for Christmas

October 17, 2011 by Leah Stirewalt 6 Comments

Just pondering my “Christmas list”. It looks quite different this year…

1. Peaceful evenings during the month of December, allowing time for reading or playing games with my wee one

2. A clean house

3. All my papers filed and organized

4. Chris’ tools sorted and organized in some fashion that makes sense to me

5. Extended time with friends

6. NOT a lot of snow

7. The ability to celebrate Christ’s birth from the perspective of joy rather than through the heart of a grieving widow

8. Kisses from heaven

9. Surprises from God

10. A pleasant dream about Chris in heaven

11. Invitations to speak and share “my story – God’s story” (not necessarily at Christmas) – just the invitations to start coming in during this season. It gives me hope and focus.

12. A blanket of love enveloping Anna and me

13. Wisdom. Lots of wisdom concerning several potentially big undertakings in 2012.

14. Restoration

15. Deliverance

16. Healing

17. Authentic prayers being lifted up for Anna and me

18. A Chris Tree full of ornaments

19. Lots of laughter

20. To see or hear about someone coming to Christ as a direct result of my husband’s death

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Meet Leah

Leah StirewaltI became "twice widowed" when my beloved prince, Joel, went to his Heavenly home after a brief and sudden illness on February 12, 2017. I’m in a place of shock and devastation, but I intend to use this format to journal my second widow journey, much like I did my first. It’s my open journal, my electronic oasis, and it’s often the place I find true healing as I allow myself to “come clean” with my feelings. Read More...

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