It was our “cabin time” ritual. Each evening before tucking my little campers into their bunks, we would talk about the day, and I would ask each one, “What was your high, low, and uh-oh?” That summer after my freshman year in college, I spent 10 weeks as a camp counselor and would close each night with prayer and asking my campers to share their highs, lows, and uh-ohs with me, and I would, in turn, do the same with them.
Now – many years later – I’ve asked that same question of my daughter on occasion, when going through the events of her day with her. Sometimes, it’s hard to think of an example in one of the categories. Sometimes a day may pass without an uh-oh. But, there’s ALWAYS a “high”. There’s ALWAYS something for which to be grateful.
I found myself in a moment of ingratitude and unthankfulness recently. I’ve received countless (literally too many to count) notes, phone calls, cards, emails, comments, and words of support in response to my news of new love and engagement to Joel. However, I’ve received less than five comments of disapproval, concern, shock, or disdain. However, those are the comments that never leave my mind. It matters not the degree of love and support I’ve felt from those that know me – truly know me – my daughter, my family, my closest friends, and even Chris’ family. It should matter, and it really does. However, it seems to be the 3-4 comments I’ve received from complete strangers that do not know me at all that are choosing to rip me apart with their words. It may only be a sentence, but one sentence can be heart-shattering.
As I try to ponder my own highs, lows, and uh-ohs, I’m having to learn to focus on those “highs” – the ones I have every single day (whether or not they seem obvious). The enemy, however, wants me to dwell on the lows from well-meaning people who really do not know me, my heart, my background, or my life story other than the snippets I choose to reveal. It can be those types of comments that make me want to withdrawal from ministry all together – that make me want to stop blogging – that make me want to quit sharing from the depths of my heart – that make me want to remove myself from the life of social media and go back into my shell and “hide” where it’s safe.
HOWEVER…
What if Jesus shrunk back and hid?
What if Jesus took to heart all of the negative words spoken about Him?
What if Jesus said, “this is too hard to do”?
What if Jesus allowed people, rather than His Father, to shape His ministry?
What if Jesus said, “I quit!”?
I can’t do it friends. No matter the few painful looks and out-of-line comments, I press on. As I’ve said before and choose to say again, I live my life for an audience of One!
It’s His approval I seek.
It’s His blessing I want.
It’s His guidance I pray for daily.
It’s His love I choose to share.
It’s His plans I want for me.
And…my audience of One…has NOT given me a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). Therefore, I choose to march forward cloaked in His strength, His love, and His wisdom. And, I will acknowledge the “lows” and “uh-ohs” of each day but will focus and give thanks for the “highs”, as I continue to exalt Him!
