Weight Loss Archives - Leah Stirewalt

About four months before Joel suddenly went Home to Heaven, we had embarked upon a health journey together. While our journeys were a bit different in the specifics, the end result intention was to be the same…we longed to get to get to the healthiest adult versions of ourselves we’ve ever seen (or at least get as close as we safely could).

Austyn’s adoption party! Just so happens to also be the day I was at my very largest…ever. 🙁

My biggest cheerleader in this fight for good health was my precious man! During the time we were were married, I had been up and down on the scale repeatedly (which, in and of itself, is not healthy). He never doubted me. Never doubted my ability to get to a healthy weight and stay there. Never doubted my goal of running my first 5K someday. (I was scheduled to participate in one several years ago, which sadly ended up being the day of my previous husband’s funeral.) He never doubted anything I set my mind to do. However, I was my own worst critic. I guess I’ve tried and failed at so many different things in the past that I began to believe that was my “lot in life”. Attempting, yet never reaching the prize.

Upon Joel’s death, I promised him I wouldn’t stop. I would hold up my end of the deal, no matter how the large the challenges I encountered (and boy…have there been challenges!). I so long to please him, to please God, and to please myself. And…ultimately, our children need their mama to be around for a long time, God willing.

So, I’m excited to announce that since October, I’ve lost 70 pounds! Aside from the trauma I’ve also experienced over the last several months, I really do feel great! Now…Joel had promised me little rewards with each measurable goal that I reach along the journey. While I don’t have him to do that for me anymore, I’m asking God to step in as the husband He’s promised to be and provide little pick-me-ups as He sees fit. He, of all people knows the incentives that will keep me motivated.

I’m getting there…little by little. Considering all I’ve endured since my health journey began, I think I’ve held out okay.

As for you…if you are a praying friend, will you fervently join me in asking God to help me reach me the Goals He has for me please?! I so want to continue to please Joel, and I trust God will give him (Joel) a little glimpse when this is all said and done. Thank you friends!

#HeIsStillGood

I love to scrapbook! I consider myself pretty crafty, in general, but there’s something about scrapbooking that puts it near the top of my fun things to do. I love how it combines my passion for photography, crafting, coordinating colors, and memory making! However, there’s one thing about scrapbooking that I don’t like…GETTING STARTED!

I don’t know why, but I struggle to actually start a new scrapbooking project. I’ll sit and ponder various ideas about how many pages I might need, which pictures need to be included, what the cover page might look like, and the list goes on endlessly. I generally end up at the point that I finally have to stop all the processing and planning and just…get…started. And…without fail…once I get started, I’m usually very productive, and the project ends up getting finished.

It’s a process.

I remember when I was early in my widowhood journey. I wanted the days to fly by. I couldn’t wait to go to bed at night so I could just go to sleep and not have to think for awhile. Thinking was hard in those earliest of days. Thinking always took me back to him and all the “why” questions still whirling around me.

All-too-often, friends (most of whom had never walked in similar shoes) told me that one day I would feel alive again. In my heart I believed them, but my head refused to let me go there just yet. It seemed too far away. I wanted to be already through that tunnel, but I wasn’t even in the middle where the light at the end would start shining.

The day came though. It took me by surprise actually. The light shone…brighter and brighter. I was gaining speed, and I was moving closer and closer to it until I finally felt it. The warmth of healing settled over me. The pain…certainly not gone forever…but, the ability to live, truly live, arrived once again.

It’s a process.

My recent journey…on the road to health and wellness…has seemed long and very curvy. I experienced about three months of incredible highs this fall only to be followed by one (what I thought to be) little choice to enjoy Thanksgiving (the food part of it, that is). I was getting so close to that first big goal of mine. What would one day off plan really hurt? Honestly? Nothing…if it had just remained one day. Instead, it turned into the week of Thanksgiving, then the Christmas season full of food fiestas followed by the actual Christmas Day meal(s).

Well, if I had given up for that long, what’s a few more days to finish out the year?

January arrived. I was still venturing widely off that road to health and wellness. I knew my birthday was around the corner, yet somehow I would stay on course until then. I had already proven at Thanksgiving, however, I couldn’t pause for just one day. Oh…the self-defeating thoughts flooded my mind.

The birthday and “fun” food came and went. The pounds came back too. Not entirely from an autumn of hard work…but enough to notice. Oh, what happened to me? Disappointment overwhelmed me. I wasn’t done. I would start again. And, I did. I had many “day 1” re-starts.

Just one more cookie, and I’ll get back on track.

Just one more dinner out, and I’ll cook my healthy meal tomorrow.

Just one more…

Even so…I refuse to quit. I refuse to throw in the towel. God is with me on this journey, and He’s not giving up on me yet. I just have to remind myself of that over and over and over. That and the fact that…

It’s a process.

Gonna Finish What I Started

It’s a Process