Leah Stirewalt

I’ve been a bit absent lately. Oh…who am I kidding…I’ve been VERY blog absent lately. I’m not sure I’ve gone this long without a post in several years actually. I could give you excuse after excuse for why I’ve been a MIA, but in all honesty, they are simply that…excuses! Legit or not…they are still excuses.

And so…here I am…January 1 of another NEW year, and I pause to take inventory. No – not a physical inventory but rather an inventory of where I am “in life” on this first day of 2013 and where I thought I would be (or should be).

In my quiet time this morning, I stumbled upon a verse in a very familiar book of scripture that I’ve read countless times before but suddenly saw with new eyes this morning:

He did not fail to confess, but confessed freely, “I am not the Christ.” ~John 1:20 (NIV84)

At this point in the book, John the Baptist is here acknowledging that he is not the one that many have tried to point to as the Messiah, but the Christ…the Messiah…Jesus…is now among them, and John the Baptist confesses that it is not he. Other versions put it this way…

And he confessed and did not deny, but confessed, “I am not the Christ.” (NASB)

And he confessed, and denied not; but confessed, I am not the Christ. (KJV)

He confessed, and did not deny, but confessed, “I am not the Christ.” (ESV)

When Jews from Jerusalem sent a group of priests and officials to ask John who he was, he was completely honest. He didn’t evade the question. He told the plain truth: “I am not the Messiah.” (v. 19-20, MSG)

I love how John the Baptist told the “plain truth”, as the Message version points out or “confessed freely” as the NIV84 states it. I was challenged in my spirit this morning that I also need do a confession, of sorts. I need to confess a few things about “who I am” or where I’m at on this first day of a new year.

I am far from my writing and speaking goals.

I am still struggling to make my weight loss goals my reality.

I continue to take on more “stuff” and yet fail to set boundaries to accommodate the load.

I am a perfectionist that is suddenly finding herself disorganized in most aspects of life (again, partially due to lack of boundaries).

I am still challenged with some physical limitations in my knee and lower back.

I am still an imperfect parent and a wife that has plenty of room to grow.

I still need lots of grace and need to learn to pour it out more on others.

I am still inadequate in the time I spend with the Lord each day.

However, like John…I also know who I am in Christ. And, while I need to confess areas that need growth or change in my life, like those above, I also need to remember…a confess freely…who Christ, my Messiah, says I am…

I am loved.

I am redeemed.

I am saved.

I am holy and blameless.

I am forgiven.

I am not condemned.

I have been given Christ’s peace.

I am a daughter of the King.

I am free from sin and death.

I am God’s friend.

I have the mind of Christ.

I am capable of doing all things through Christ.

I am not oppressed.

I am free.

And, that’s simply the beginning. Yes, while I’m not where I want to be, I have to pause and recognize who I am, Whose I am, and all that’s already been attained for me by the One that loved me enough to die for me.

While it’s important and necessary to confess our sins and critical to “take inventory” of our life from time to time to ensure that we are still in line with God’s plan for us, we also need to be prepared to move forward. Do not dwell on the past. Get ready to embrace all that God has in store for His obedient children and move forward in that. Confess freely who you are in Christ…who He says you are, and in doing so, you acknowledge who He is, much like John the Baptist on that day over 2000 years ago…our Savior…the Christ…Immanuel…our Redeemer…King of Kings…the Messiah.

Remember not the former things,
    nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I am doing a new thing;
    now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
    and rivers in the desert.

~Isaiah 43:18-19 (ESV)

I can’t believe it’s already been a year since the Chris Tree first graced our home. I’ll never forget when the Lord first gave me the idea for it (click here if you’re not already familiar with that story). In short, I was a widow dreading my first Christmas without my husband following his suicidal death earlier in the year. I kept hearing…the holidays are the worst times for those that have lost loved ones. I wanted to be prepared. I didn’t want to be that “statistic”. I prayed that God would carry me through that season with abundant grace. I didn’t just want to “survive” the holiday – I wanted to THRIVE during the Christmas season. And…thrive I did! To date, it was the sweetest and most blessed Christmas I ever recall having. God showed off His power and His glory BIG, often through individuals that simply listened and obeyed when He spoke.

The second half of 2012 has been nothing short of amazing! If you had asked me this time last year where I’d be in a year, I never would have told you re-married. However, that is exactly where God has blessed me. When dating Joel, I mentioned the “Chris Tree” and how important it was to Anna and me, because it involved the blessing and help of so many other people. I couldn’t fathom only having it up for one year and never again. Joel completely understood, and even though our family dynamics have changed, and he is now my new husband – he welcomed the Chris Tree in our home this year.

Anna and I just finished decorating it last night. As we poured through the ornaments, it all came back to me…just like it was yesterday. I remembered (without having to look it up) where each of them came from. I remember the stories behind why some people donated the ornaments that they did, and I remember how happy I was when that tree arrived in our home last year and again this year.

A few pics of the THIS YEAR’s “Chris Tree”:

And a repost from last year’s blog about the 1st “Chris Tree” from the tree’s perspective (that is, if trees could talk…)

If Trees Could Talk

“I’ve been told this day was coming for many months now. My Creator announced to me in August that He had a very special plan for me…so special, in fact, that it would require my leaving the only home I’ve ever known…forever. My home…this beautiful farm displayed with so many of my pine-scented friends. Some have been growing here for over a decade. Others are just new saplings. But me? I’m almost 10 feet tall, so I’ve seen a lot of friends and family leave our homeplace through the years. I’ve gotten used to it actually, but it never really hit me that my day might actually come too. Until today. Even after my Creator told me several months ago, I never really thought it would happen until now.

I wondered if it would hurt. You know…when they take that loud buzzing thing and cut me from my base. I’ve seen it happen so much…the noise…the topple…the dust. But does it hurt?

But, Creator tells me that somebody else…a lady…has been hurting a lot more than what I’ll experience today. In fact, He tells me that the small sting I might experience in the process is worth it for the joy that it will bring this lady. I don’t know why she hurts, but Creator tells me He needs me to do this for Him, because He loves her so and wants to see that smile on her face when she sees me for the first time.

I knew her voice the first time I heard it. I can’t explain how I knew it was her…I just did. She kept looking at lots of trees all around me but seemed so disappointed. I often heard her mutter to her friends that were with her, ‘I know I’ll know which one it is when I see it.’ Was she talking about me? Was she looking for me?

I could feel her footsteps getting closer, and then I saw her, and her face beamed with joy when she took her first look at me. Creator affirmed it was her.

This is the one, my beloved creation. I need you to go live in her home for the next 6 weeks and bring her abundant joy.

I don’t know how to do that?

Just by being there.

He whispered a few more things to me…something about her husband now being with Him in Heaven, something about her sadness over the upcoming Christmas season, a little about how she’s expecting me to bring her a lot of joy and how many of her friends and family have sent her many items to adorn me with.

I want to feel honored to be in this role. I really do. But, I’m a little sad, because my own death is near. Is this what it’s come to for me? All of these years in this beautiful place to be over in about 6 weeks (provided she generously waters me daily)?

But, my wise Creator shared one more thing with me that clearly told me why I had to do this (and why I should be honored at the opportunity…

He reminded me that often it takes death of one thing to bring life to another.”

Me and my 1st ‘Chris Tree’!

He Confessed Freely…So Do I

Chris Tree – Year 2