Leah Stirewalt

For an assignment in her 9th grade Honors English class, my daughter was asked to write a poem using a strong emotion and linking it to a metaphor that would flow throughout the entire poem. I loved it when I first read it. Apparently, her teacher was impressed with it too. More importantly, I think it speaks volumes to this Grief Road that I’m currently walking. I wanted to share it with you. I’m proud of my girlie!

Grief is the Ocean

By: Anna Combs

Grief is the ocean

That contains crevices of darkness,

Bursting with hidden life.

Its waves are unpredictable.

In the beginning, the hard, rushing, swift ones

Seem impossible to get through.

The farther into the water,

The waves begin to relax.

At this point in the journey,

The ocean offers a brief rest.

And then it comes, without warning.

A tsunami-sized wave threatening

To sweep everything in its path

Further out to sea.

Even in the farthest places of the sea,

Even in the darkest gaps,

Life still exists within.

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to teach my Connect Group (a/k/a Sunday School class) from the book of Judges about one of my favorite heroes…Gideon! I love that guy! I think I love him so much, because I can relate to him so well.

Take a peek with me for just a moment…Judges 6:11-16 (NIV)…

“The angel of the LORD came and sat down under the oak in Ophrah that belonged to Joash the Abiezrite, where his son Gideon was threshing wheat in a winepress to keep it from the Midianites. When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, “The LORD is with you, mighty warrior.”

“But sir,” Gideon replied, “if the LORD is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our fathers told us about when they said, ‘Did not the LORD bring us up out of Egypt?’ But now the LORD has abandoned us and put us into the hand of Midian.”

The LORD turned to him and said, “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?”

“But Lord,” Gideon asked, “how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.”

The LORD answered, “I will be with you, and you will strike down all the Midianites together.”

Did you see what just took place in the above passage? The Lord gave Gideon the name MIGHTY WARRIOR! Ok…sure…big deal, you might be saying. There were lots of warriors in biblical days. Right you are! But, Gideon had not yet served in one single battle! You see – God is calling Gideon by the name that He’s making him into. He sees Gideon differently than Gideon sees himself. To Gideon…he’s weak, “the least”, a simple wheat thresher and certainly NOT a mighty warrior. However, in Chapters 7 and 8 – Gideon takes on that name God has given him – He becomes that mighty warrior, as he and 300 men (only 300 men!!!) defeat the torturous, ravaging bullies – the Midianites! There was no human way possible Gideon could have done this with just 300 men. But, God was with him, just as He promised. God gets the glory for this victory that resulted from a man that simply stepped out in faith and took God at His Word.

Friends…I feel much like Gideon. The names that I sometimes place upon myself aren’t God-honoring and certainly NOT the names God has given me. I look at my life over the last 40 years and see a mess…disappointment after disappointment, and this most recent tragedy with Chris’ death seems to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. But God…

God keeps revealing to me that this “mess” I keep referring to is going to be THE thing that brings him the greatest glory out of my life. That actually scares me to death. What’s He going to require of me? What’s He going to ask me to do? Doesn’t He know that I’m the modern version of a “simple wheat thresher”?

But, I know one thing…He’s already given me the same promise He gave Gideon thousands of years ago… “I will be with you…”

He’s already told me it’s time to speak again, because I have a NEW story to tell. By faith, I’ve prepared my topics, I’ve listed my availability on my website, I’ve shared with certain groups of people that I’m back “in the saddle again”, and now I wait. But, I wait WITH God, because He promised me, “I will be with you…”

He’s also told me to keep writing. He’s given me a pretty big project to work on. By faith, I’m doing the research, I’m quizzing those that have gone before me on a similar path, I study a lot, and then I wait. But, again, I wait WITH God, because He promised me, “I will be with you…”

There’s something else I believe He’s calling me to do. Something that really scares me to death. Something that I’m not quite ready to share on this blog (until I’m done throwing out all of my fleeces, that is). But, if at the end of this time of prayer and fasting that I’m about to enter into, He tells me to still do it…then, once again…I will obey, and I will wait on Him to direct my steps, because He promised me, “I will be with you…”

God has also given me a new name…one that I have yet to feel the effects of just yet. But, if God says it…I believe it. What’s the name He’s given me?

He calls me…RESTORED! What name has He called YOU?