Leah Stirewalt

Astronauts in space could have heard me as I screamed in the shower this morning, “I give up!” (Except for the small fact that my voice is practically gone.) Enough is enough. Last night was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I’ve been suffering with what medical professionals deem “the crud” for 10 days now! Heavy congestion, coughing that won’t quit, chills, headache, and a side that hurts from all the coughing. Now…before I go any further, let me just say I’m not typically “wimpy” when I’m sick. I’m a pretty tough cookie with a high pain tolerance and will generally self-medicate and self-diagnose. I’ve found quite the OTC remedy that will cure just about any upper respiratory ailment and pride myself in the fact that I’m not often knocked down for long (see the “pride” word…yep, it goeth before a fall).

So, when I woke this morning (after having been awake most of the night), and I actually felt worse…well, let’s just say this girl wasn’t gone take it anymore! I didn’t care if several of our roads still had ice on them, and it was 18 degrees outside this morning. I didn’t care if my car was covered in a new layer of snow that fell last night and required a bit of “attention” before heading out. I didn’t care if my gas tank was near empty…I was going to the walk-in clinic at my doctor’s office and nobody was going to stop me! As I was making all of these great plans from under the warmth of the my hot shower, I heard a gentle whisper in my spirit…

“Are you done yet?”

Oh no. Not again.

“Daughter, are you done trying to control everything?”

Yep – here we go again. That control word. I knew a lesson was coming out of this one. I could almost see God smiling as soon as I figured it out. Once again, I tried to take matters into my own hands for a little bit too long. I tried to control everything to the point of making myself miserable and rendered virtually ineffective. God could have taken care of this long before now if I’d just taken my own hands off of it. This morning, God used the professionals in my doctor’s office to help with the healing process. And…they so gently reminded me that I was actually a pretty sick kiddo.

So, once again…I gave up! And…once again…God smiled!

I shared the other day that I was thrilled to be participating with a group of gals in a 21-day journey following Lysa TerKeurst’s new book, Made to Crave. Part of the journey involves reading and commenting on some daily devotions relating to the principles she teaches in the book. Today’s topic was an extremely sensitive topic for me, because I’ve had to learn it first-hand, the hard way. It’s a topic that I actually speak on at women’s events. And…it’s a topic that part of me still needs to be reminded of every now and then. Allow me to share a snippet of today’s devotion with you…

“We were made for more! More than this failure … more than this cycle … more than being ruled by our taste buds, body image, rationalizations, and guilt. We were made for victory. Sometimes we just have to find our way to that truth.”

For me…I KNOW…I really KNOW that I’m made for more than “this”. I’m made for more than mediocrity…made for more than settling with where I’m at on my health journey…made for more than the shame I feel every time I emotionally eat…made for more than failure at diets…made for more than feeling disgust each time I step on the scale. Yes – I’m made for more than this. So, why don’t I live that way sometimes? Simply put…I’m putting more stock in my own negative thoughts than in the truth of God’s Word. I’m allowing past regrets to dictate my todays and possibly my tomorrows. So, how do we stop that vicious cycle?

Abide in the truth of God’s word. Your mind must be transformed by it (Romans 12:2). Who does He say you are…not who do you say you are? Friends…God’s plans are not our plans, but his plans are not harmful…rather quite the opposite. In Jeremiah, we can know that God’s plans are actually plans to give us a future and a HOPE! He has no plans of ever abandoning us. Romans 8 teaches that “we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us”. That kind of hope screams…”YES, you were made for more than this!”

I went out on a limb…a limb of faith, so to speak…and posted on my blog last week that yes, I’m on a weight loss journey again. But…this time…it’s really about so much more than the weight loss. Yes, I’ve shed some pounds, actually pretty significant pounds in just a few weeks. But, I’m not even going to share that total just yet, because God is doing a greater work in me than just trimming fat. He’s trimming lies I’ve believed for years. My desire, my yearning, my craving for Him happens to be stronger than it’s ever been. And…I think, actually I know, that this is one craving that He’s happy to see me indulge in. As a result, He’ll take care of the pounds.