Leah Stirewalt

I’ve known her for nearly 24 of my 42 years. We were born in different states…in different decades…she’s a teacher by trade; I’m a wannabe…she’s reserved and sometimes quiet; some say I’m “edgy” and perhaps a little bold…we have different mothers and different fathers, and yet…I call her sister.

We don’t need blood to define our relationship. Who cares if our gene pools are different? I love her as if she were from the same bloodline as me. And honestly, in the body of Christ, there is no differentiation.

As I continue to share my story in different arenas, I run into people all the time that long for family. Perhaps they were orphaned at a young age and never knew a father or mother (or both). Maybe they are estranged from siblings or their own children. Sometimes they will share their hurts – often, however, they just ask me to pray. And…when I do, I pray…”Send them a Kandi.”

Kandi, is the woman I call sister. While I have a younger sister and brother (by blood), that I dearly love, Kandi was a gift from God to me many, many years ago, and I honestly don’t need blood to tell me we’re not “technically” sisters. She’s as much of a sister to me as if we grew up in the same household.

Her loyalty…friendship…and genuine love are pure. Her family is an extension of my own. She’s walked through some of life’s greatest tragedies with me, and I with her.

The day her 8-year-old son suddenly passed away will be a day forever etched in my mind. My heart broke too…he was my nephew…that freckled-face little blondie that could light up a room with his smile and cackle.

Upon discovering that my own husband left this world, by the taking of his own life, I’ll never forget how Kandi and her family drove hours to come to my aide the very night his body was discovered. She slept on one couch while I “slept” on the other. With every whimper that I uttered, she was by my side…rubbing my head, whispering prayers.

We are so different, in many aspects. We joke that I’m more like her mother and daughter, but yet God drew our hearts together in a way that only He could.

She’s part of my “Core Four”…the name I’ve given my four closest girlfriends. The very women that breathe encouragement into my life, that are not afraid to tell me when I’m “veering” off course, the ones that pray me through every crisis and rejoice along with me through the victories.

I’ve never once felt that I’ve betrayed my own family because of my ability to extend the borders of “family” beyond blood. Perhaps that was God’s way of preparing my heart for a blended family and for orphaned children a long time ago. If anything, it makes my life all the richer.

Perhaps you are grieving the “loss” of family – even if not in the physical sense. Or…maybe you’re waiting on your own “Kandi”. If so, know that today I’m praying for YOU! While I may not know you by name, God knows. And…he’s placed YOU on my heart today.

Or – maybe you’re on the other end of the spectrum. Maybe you’re struggling to love or to embrace others outside of your own blood family. Maybe you fear that by doing so you are betraying those that share a beautiful set of genes with you. I’m also praying for YOU and asking God to open your heart and your eyes to those around you that He’s also placed in your life to “expand” your family and enrich your life.

You. Are. Loved.

 Mark 3:31-34 (ESV) And his mother and his brothers came, and standing outside they sent to him and called him. And a crowd was sitting around him, and they said to him, “Your mother and your brothers are outside, seeking you.” And he answered them, “Who are my mother and my brothers?” And looking about at those who sat around him, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of God, he is my brother and sister and mother.”