Leah Stirewalt

Out of Deep Waters

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His “Go Girl”

May 8, 2017 by Leah Stirewalt Leave a Comment

Joel always called his first-born, his precious daughter Amy, his “go girl”. I’ll be honest…I never asked the meaning behind the name. So, I don’t know what it meant between the two of them. But…she is definitely a go woman!

As another first-born, I can resonate greatly with many of the things Amy does, as there are many commonalities among first borns. She’s a great leader among her family. Although, her only biological siblings are boys, she still has the position of “leader” among her brothers, possessing that first-born status.

I remember the first time I met Amy…she was quite respectful of her dad’s new fiancee, as we met after Joel had already proposed to me. I’m sure it had to be an awkward moment (or season, in general). For me, I felt like I was going into this family as an underdog with a lot to “prove”, but Amy never made me feel that way. She and her husband, Wes, already had their first child – precious Noelle – who was 9 months old when I first met her. I fell in love with the little girl who would one day call me Grandma Leah for the first time and completely melt my heart. She still has the ability to do that (along with her little brother, Micah).

Amy has always treated me with respect, honor, and with great friendship. When I came onto the scene…she was already a happily married, adult woman and mother and didn’t need any mothering herself, but I was thrilled to gain a new friend…who just happened to be the first born of my new husband-to-be.

I could go on-and-on about the many exemplary qualities of Amy…incredible wife, stay-at home mom, part-time employee, crafty chica, follower and disciple of Christ, wise and loving big sister, athletic, free-spirited, and selfless in the way she cares for others…especially her family.

When I knew her daddy’s health was taking a downward turn, she asked me over the phone if she should come to the hospital (a 3 hour drive away from her home), and I said, “Yes!”. I didn’t know then he would be leaving us so soon for his heavenly home, but I knew his health was serious enough to have his “Go Girl” nearby…just in case. And…selfishly…I needed her there as a buffer for her brothers. I didn’t have the emotional capability to be strong any longer, and I knew she’d be able to communicate to them on my behalf.

And communicate she did.

She had the wisdom to FaceTime two of her brothers in from Oklahoma and another from London, England so that they could all be present when their daddy took his final breath on earth. As heartbreaking as it was to watch and be present for, I’m so thankful she offered that gift to her brothers.

Amy is strong…emotionally and physically. I’ll never forget the day she asked me if she could be a pall bearer for her daddy. I’ll be honest, I never even thought to offer that to her. I guess I’m of the old school thinking that men typically fulfill that role, but when she asked me…I knew “of course” Joel’s Go Girl needed to help carry him to his final resting place on this earth. It broke my heart but made me proud, all at the same time.

Amy is in the far back right position

Yesterday…she did it again. She and her family were at our house this weekend. I mentioned a patch of grass that was inadvertently missed the other day when a friend came to mow our grass. She quickly offered to do it herself and to take Austyn with her. I mentioned to her, “You know…the last time your dad mowed this grass, he took Austyn with him, and he fell asleep on his lap.” And…you know what…he did the same yesterday with his big sister.

I can’t thank God enough for this precious woman. The fact that she’s my step-daughter (I prefer to say “Bonus Daughter”) is just icing on the cake, but she’s a great friend, a loving big sister, and incredible wife and mother, and she’ll always be her daddy’s Go Girl!

I love you Amy!

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Time to Catch Up

May 4, 2017 by Leah Stirewalt Leave a Comment

Thank you for all the love and prayers yesterday, as I remembered the 6th anniversary of Chris going to Heaven. It was a bittersweet day. I had an impromptu gathering with some dear friends (following a doctor’s appointment) who are mighty prayer intercessors, among many other gifts, and they blessed me deeply with much prayer. I cried many tears, but I truly believe they were tears of healing, and I know God collected each one (Psalm 56:8).

I’m sorry I’ve been quieter than I would I have liked here lately. There’s just been a lot going on…not all bad…just a lot. Let me quickly catch you up:

  • You may or may not know we still had our house on the market in Asheville when Joel went Home to Heaven. Paying two mortgages is tough enough, but losing the primary income in our family and having to deal with that is almost more than my feeble mind can take. Prior to Joel entering the hospital, we had a few showings but nothing seriously promising and definitely no offers. Less than two weeks after Joel died, I received an offer! And…the house closed last week! I am finally down to just one house again. Praise God!
  • My foot saga has NOT ended, but it’s looking much more promising. Just to recap, I was scheduled for a minor foot surgery revision (of a surgery from seven years ago). It went fine…or so we thought. A week later, I had an emergency second surgery to try to stop the source of the bleeding, and a baseball sized blood clot was removed. Two more weeks passed, with very little healing taking place, and the wound splits wide open! Back in for surgery just over a day later. At that time (on March 31), a wound vac was installed. It was AMAZING! If you’re not familiar with wound vac therapy, look it up…it really is astounding. I say all that to say…it did it’s job and was removed last Thursday. Now, we’re waiting for the rest of the wound to close…hopefully not too much longer. Needless to say, three foot surgeries during the month of March while heavily grieving the loss of my precious Joel just a few weeks prior…too much…just too much!
  • Joel’s oldest two kiddos – Amy and Justin – and their spouses, Wes and Virginia, came down last weekend to spend days simply doing project after project in this house. I was beyond elated and overwhelmed with all they did to serve me, the kids, and their dad’s memory. I can’t tell you how proud Joel would have been to see those precious bonus children of mine work their tails off with a complete heart of service! What a joy to witness!
  • Oh…and probably one of the most gut-wrenching pieces…I had a wreck a few weeks ago. Totaled the car Joel drove most often. It was my fault. It could have been very, very ugly, but God’s protection was over both cars in a mighty way, and we all walked away with nothing more than a few aches and pains from the angled, head-on collision. Praise God for His mercy and grace! I’ve had to wrap up the details of that with the insurance company – fun (not!). Now, I have to face the ticket, and I’m praying it will be erased completely with no implication on my driving points or insurance rates. I’ve been told that’s very possible considering my squeaky clean driving record. Would you join me in praying for His mercy to abound in that very specific way please?
  • I start counseling today. Long overdue, I’m sure, but I’ve felt very “trapped” in my home due to my foot issue. I’m able to start doing a little bit more, but very small steps. This was at the top of the list. I need this, and I need this for one of our kiddos specifically. I’m praying this gal is a good match for one or both of us.

I’m sure there is much more I can share, but honestly…my widow brain is a bit foggy at the moment. It seems it doesn’t stop…the “stuff” to do, that is. That’s just life, in general, but it feels very revved up for me right now. I continue to ask God for a dose of His strength, as I feel extremely weak right now. He promises to be strong in my weakness. I’m counting on it!

#HeIsStillGood

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Meet Leah

Leah StirewaltI became "twice widowed" when my beloved prince, Joel, went to his Heavenly home after a brief and sudden illness on February 12, 2017. I’m in a place of shock and devastation, but I intend to use this format to journal my second widow journey, much like I did my first. It’s my open journal, my electronic oasis, and it’s often the place I find true healing as I allow myself to “come clean” with my feelings. Read More...

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