Now that the second foot surgery is behind me and things are healing well, I thought I’d share a little more.
The original foot surgery on March 10 was supposed to be a simple Tarsal Tunnel Release. I had one about nine years ago and did quite well with it, and it’s typically a very simple surgery. I knew I’d have to baby my foot a little bit afterward, but I had only planned to be out of work 5 days (including the weekend), and planned to end my leave following Joel’s death with the end of my surgery recovery. It had been on the calendar a while anyway, and I couldn’t wait to walk pain-free again. So, I went ahead with the already scheduled procedure.
Then…things took a turn nobody (especially me) expected. While some pain was expected, I had an extraordinary amount of pain following the procedure. Additionally, I had large pools of bleeding.
**By the way, if even the talk of blood makes your stomach queasy, you might want to stop reading here.
After I was safely in the house following being dropped off by my ride for surgery #1, I turned around to hobble my way to the bathroom, and I noticed a trail of blood along the floor that looked like I had entered the room of a crime scene. It. Scared. Me. To. Death. I went to flag the ladies down (who were outside on the driveway at that point) and immediately called my surgeon’s office. The doctor’s office talked me through what to do over the weekend, including what would require a trip to the ER. Thankfully, I never had to go to the ER over the weekend, but I did have to go see my surgeon in Asheville again on Monday morning. He wasn’t pleased with what he saw and already hinted that a second surgery might be necessary to fix the current problem. We’d continue to watch it for another day or two.
Well, the next day (Tuesday) – now four days post-op – landed me a trip to the local ER, as my pain had gotten out of control. It was no longer controllable with the medications I had, and the bleeding continued. The ER staff re-dressed the wound and controlled the pain in a more direct, short-acting way. I went back home nearly five hours later.
Wednesday – more of the same.
Thursday – back to Asheville for the surgeon to do another wound check. The conversation went like this:
Dr H: I see two choices here. In very rare cases (like I can count on one hand the number I’ve personally encountered), we have to go back into surgery and search for the source of bleeding and put a stop to it. We can do that tomorrow, or we can wait until possibly next Wednesday. I asked him his opinion, and he was hesitant to offer it just yet. Then, I spoke with as much clarity and assurance as I’d had up to that point…
Me: Dr. H….I don’t know about you, but I know God has given me a spiritual gift of discernment, and I feel I’ve been blessed with it mightily. If I stick to my “gut” (that voice of discernment) telling me what to do, then I feel this needs to be taken care of TOMORROW.
In that moment, the surgeon (who I happened to know is a believer as well) looked at me and said, “You made the right decision!” Ahhh…sweet peace just ushered in the room…
The surgery took place on Friday. It was a complete success. The surgeon removed a baseball-sized clot from my ankle. It was causing the excessive bleeding, the horrendous pain, and who knows what else. And…had it gotten loose and traveled to other parts of my body…brain, lungs, heart…I could have joined Joel in Heaven very quickly. Yes…it was THAT serious!
I still don’t understand why I’ve been asked to walk through these various trials right now…hard and painful trials, but what I do know…I can still hear that still, small voice of God speaking to me. That, in and of itself, was huge for me, as I had been begging God to hear from Him…something…anything. I felt He had been quiet with me lately, and I desperately needed something to cling to, knowing He was still with me. My faith knew it, but I was so weak and deep in grief…I needed more in that moment.
He IS still for me.
He IS still watching OVER our family.
He IS not finished with me yet.
He IS healing me!
It’s just looking a little different than I had pictured, but then again…so is my whole life, for that matter.
Thank you for your many prayers, well-wishes, tangible gifts of support, love, and concern. He is using YOU for big things. Thank you for being obedient. If He leads you to do something, follow His lead. It will never be wrong. He knows our needs better than we do.
May God bless you BIG!
#Heisstillgood
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