Leah Stirewalt

Out of Deep Waters

Immanuel – God With ME!

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Happy Tuesday blog friends!
If you happened to stop by after reading my post on A Pinkdaisy Life, welcome! So glad to have you join me here as well!
I honestly can’t believe it’s here. December 20, that is. Five days until Jesus’ birthday! I really want to throw Him a grand party after all He’s done for me! But, this year might be a little subdued. I’m still deeply hurting in my new role as a 39-year-old widow. And yet…my Savior understands that too.
Even so, He’s been so good to me this year.
Even with such great loss, my Jesus has been by my side every step of the way.
Even with the magnitude of tears I’ve cried, He’s caught each and every single one.
Even with the agonizing screams of grief, He’s never wearied of hearing my pain.
Even with an ungrateful spirit at times, He cradles me in His warm embrace.
Even with question after question after question, He continues to listen.
Even with my broken shattered heart, He’s still mending and healing me.
And so…in my continued preparations for this first Christmas without my precious husband, I rejoice in who Christ is…Immanuel…God with us…God with you…God with ME!

Angels Among Us

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Several days ago, God began blessing my daughter and me through a most unexpected, yet very generous & simply unbelievable, way.

Last Wednesday, December 14, we were greeted with a beautiful basket containing candy, ornaments, and other amazing goodies and a card that contained the following excerpt…

“Dear Leah and Anna,
This is the beginning of your 12 Days of Christmas! Consider all these gifts, as they have come from the lavish love of Jesus. You both are in His thoughts continuously and also in the thoughts and prayers of many of the saints. You are both loved beyond measure. I know that this Christmas will be remembered as the 1st one without Chris…but also remember it as the Christmas season that prayers, grace and gifts were lavished on you both!”

The note continued to say that we should check our porch each morning from now through December 25!

Blog friends, I’m struggling to even type this post, because the tears are literally pouring out of my eyes right now. The very Sunday before all this began, I asked the ladies in the Sunday School class I teach to share their most memorable Christmas gift ever received (aside from Christ’s gift of salvation). Little did I realize that my most memorable gift was coming later that week.

This has literally blown my mind.

Not because the gifts are so amazing (even though they are).
Not because it’s created a sense of sweet excitement in our home this first Christmas without my amazing husband (even though it has, and the excitement is helping us cope).
Not because I think I deserve any of this (because I know I most definitely do not).

It’s blowing my mind, because I feel extremely loved right now. Extremely loved. When life is most difficult (as it has been these last 7 1/2 months since Chris’ death), knowing you are loved isn’t enough. You need to feel it…see it…taste it…touch it…hear it. Friends, I have done just that!

I have no idea the identify of these Christmas Angels among us. Just when I think I’ve figured it out, I’m thrown a little off track again. I need to quit trying to figure it out…I know…I know.

I simply pray that this is blessing my gift-givers as much as it is Anna and me. I pray that the Lord bestows immense blessing and favor on each hand that was involved in this. And…to my Christmas angels (I pray you’re reading this)…you will never fully know the depth of this blessing! You have made this widow’s heart sing (Job 29:13b NIV).